The Rocky Top Brigade

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 2, 2006 12:05 AM EDT in Tennessee Volunteer Football

With kickoff only about 17 hours away, more and more members of the Rocky Top Brigade are turning their attention to football. For those that may not know, the Rocky Top Brigade is an association of bloggers from the State of Tennessee. The RTB site is a feed aggregator featuring all of the RTB members. The RTB Constitution is as follows:

Constitution for the
Union of Tennessee Volunteer Bloggers
and Big Orange Expeditionary Forces
a/k/a the Rocky Top Brigade

We the Bloggers of the Great Volunteer State of Tennessee, in order to form a more perfect union, bring order to the general chaos and unsettlings of the Universe, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity for the expressed purpose of periodically making fools of ourselves in public, do hereby ordain and establish this here Constitution for the Union of Tennessee Volunteer Bloggers and Big Orange Expeditionary Forces, which shall hereafter and forevermore be known throughout the land as the Rocky Top Brigade.

* Whereas, Elvis is the One True King of Rock and Roll, and Graceland is the hallowed Shrine to all things virtuous and good in the Universe,

* Whereas, Dolly Parton is the One True Angel of Country Music and Dollywood is the purest manifestation of independent hillbilly entrepreneurialism in the land,

* Whereas, the Crossroads of Greenwood Mississippi might be the birthplace of the blues, but Beale Street is its cradle,

* Whereas, there ain't nothing in the world finer than Jack Daniels or a ripe Grainger County Tomato (with all due respect to Vidalia Onions and Woodford Reserve),

* Whereas, Phil Fulmer and the Big Orange Volunteers of Tennessee are the Glorious and Most Victorious Warriors of SEC Football who vanquish all foes including Steve Spurrier,

* Whereas, Andy Jackson would kick Margaret Thatcher's butt in a fair fight,

* Whereas, Dubya would be riding around on a donkey and drinking cheap tequila at his ranch in Mexico if it weren't for Davy Crockett and Sam Houston,

* Whereas, Sgt. Alvin C. York single-handedly won World War One and liberated the French who proceeded to lounge around painting pictures of nekkid women (not that there's anything wrong with that) and cooking rich food and writing weird poetry and making wine that don't give near as good a buzz as moonshine thus allowing the Germans to occupy them again and requiring a bunch more good ol' Tennessee Volunteer boys to go over there and rescue their butts one more time,

* Whereas, a big ol' Tennessee River channel cat is meaner than a bobcat with his tail on fire when taken on light tackle,

Be it resolved then, and known to all men of good standing (and women too, for that matter) throughout the land that the Rocky Top Brigade is hereby enjoined in the battle for truth, justice, and a good single malt Scotch whiskey for around $20.

Official Motto:     RTB is TCB
Official Song:     Rocky Top (of course)
Official Drink:     Lynchburg Lemonade (or optionally Glenlivet for the snooty upper crust)
Official Fly Patterns:     Thunderhead, Yallerhammer, Tellico Nymph
Official Field Load:     Winchester Super-X Game 12GA 1 OZ no8
Official Politics:     Democratic Republican Socialist Libertarianism
Official Religion:     Volunteer Football

Okay, so some of that is a bit over the top, and we don't all subscribe to all of the tenets of the Constitution, but we are all proud to call ourselves Tennesseans.

There are currently 246 members of the Rocky Top Brigade, 104 of which are currently living in, or are ex-pats of, East Tennessee. There is great diversity among the RTB bloggers, but as it gets closer to football season, the Brigadiers put away their petty differences and begin to focus on what's really important: the Tennessee Volunteers.

For instance:

Voluntarily Conservative, a blog generally devoted to conservative politics, posted a terrific piece imploring Tennessee fans to do their part in reclaiming home-field advantage. His plea is an emotional one:
My love of the Vols is so great that I disclosed such to my future wife early on (think Fever Pitch, but replace the Red Sox with the Vols). My home office is clad in orange. My work office is filled with orange. A good deal of my wardrobe is orange. A good deal of the VOLConWife's wardrobe has been transitioned from the gold and black of Vanderbilt to orange and white. I decided to buy the house in which we currently live because it is within walking distance of Neyland Stadium. Before I lived in Knoxville, I would play The Pride of the Southland's "Rocky Top" when entering the city. I have taken off of from work/school for every Signing Day since 2000. I have over 7,400 posts on Volquest.com discussing Tennessee football and basketball.
Obsessed? Absolutely. But I am certainly not unique in any sense. There are thousands of others in East Tennessee and beyond with the same obsession.
Big Orange Michael, that devourer of tomes and t.v. shows in the offseason, shifts much of his attention in the fall to football, and to kick off the season, he says, "It's about time."
The Vol Abroad, an ex-pat living in England and who talks about, well, anything and everything, posted the cutest thing ever this morning.
Hint: it involves Rocky Top and the indoctrination of youth.
Deliverance kicks off the season by making his picks. He's giving the Vols a 20-19 victory over Cal.
No word yet from Tenn Vol Champ, who's sure to chime in soon.
And of course there's Voluminous, the first all-Vol blogger I'm aware of, who's always pointing you in the right direction, and relative newcomers Corn from a Jar and Fulmer's Belly, who I'm not sure are members of the RTB just yet, but I'm sure they will be soon. By the way, Corn from a Jar predicts that Arian Foster will outrush Marshawn Lynch, that Britton Colquitt will figure into a game that resembles last year's contest against Georgia, and that environmental factors will play a part in the Cal game.

The Vologosphere is alive and well and looking forward to Football Time in Tennessee.

17 hours. Update [2006-9-2 8:46:41 by Joel]:

Miss Zoot chimes in:
For those of you new around these here parts, you need to understand that as much as MrZ and I love each other dearly. We do not agree on what teams to root for in the world of SEC football. I was born and raised in Knoxville, TN - home of the University of Tennessee - so my blood runs orange and white. (And if you'll remember, I'm kinda outnumbered here). MrZ has been a Crimson Tide (University of Alabama in Tuscaloosa) fan his whole life because he was born with only 1/100th of his brain.
And there's another new kid on the block. Welcome The 8th Maxim, who with his first post says he's going to be primarily a stats guy.

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