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Around SBN: The Amateur Mathematics Of Linsanity

Talking Points: on Heismans, stale sandwiches, and other old news

And you, Jermaine Cunningham, with your four-year education handed to you because you’re reasonably adept (sack leader!) at hitting guys with your whole body….you so callously toss away the greatest treasure of starving students everywhere because you can’t be bothered to cough up a buck for a bag of chips? The only thing I could recognize on the menu at my froo-froo lunch date today turned out to be a sandwich made of RICE. I’d kill a man for half your lunch, if you hadn’t already thrown it at some poor counter boy.

Third Saturday in Blogtober:

Police officer (drawing his gun): "Son, put down the Reuben, and no one gets hurt."
Cunningham: "I’ll throw it, I swear! I love this $%&#! sandwich, but I’ll throw it."
Backup officer: "You’re surrounded, kid. The Turkey on Wheat will only get you in trouble. Lay down the sandwich."
Demps: "You heard the pig, Jermaine. Show’s over, bro."
Cunningham: "They ain’t even got my sandwich right, though, man. It’s a Chicken Club (tears streaming). YOU HEAR ME! A CHICKEN CLUB!! (Being cuffed now). Rye!? Rye are you arresting me??"
Employee: "This is the most action Jimmy Johns has seen all season. If this Jimmy Johns was in Tuscaloosa, it would be quiet all year."
Urban Meyer’s punishment for Cunningham will probably be a solid week of making him eat only Quizno’s leading up to the bowl game, he’ll be suspended for one play without pay and end up having four tackles for loss and a sack against Illinois in the Capital One Bowl.
  • Third Saturday in Blogtober also has a funny personal anecdote that has absolutely nothing to do Tommy Tuberville signing an extension with Auburn.
  • Who else loves the Haka?
  • And if anyone’s looking for the recruiting board, well, it’s here. Yes, we know it’s in need of a fresh coat of paint – we’re working on it.
  • And finally, pardon the erratic blogging as of late. Lots happening right now, including yesterday when my wife and daughters were in a car v. tree stump accident. Fog and rain had conspired to create a very slick area on a very curvy road. Everybody’s fine, but the car may have to be put down. I just happened to be on the phone with my wife when it happened, and let me tell you, you don’t ever want to have 911 on a land line in one ear and your screaming and crying daughters on the cell in the other. Like I said, everything’s fine now, but for about 30 seconds yesterday morning, things were not fine. Not fine at all. Learn vicariously, folks. Go hug your family.

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1997 still upsets me...
this truly was the "Heisman Heist".  All of the arguments are warranted, and the aloofness Michigan fans/media have to say "the voters finally put away their calculators and got it right" is total BS.  

I just like to think if we put the shoe on the other foot and Peyton was a DB/PR that touched the ball 4-5 times a game who won the award and Charles Woodson was a QB with amazing stats that had an impact on every offensive play, what Michigan people would say.  They would boycott college football and still throw southern slurs and stereotypes our way (even though I do love me some grits).

Additionally, I was so happy for Peyton last year winning the Super Bowl and yes, he is going to be a Hall of Famer, but I would like some accolades at UT.  So often UT doesn't get that top-tier tradition label because they have no Heisman winners like OU, UM, or ND.  

Furthermore, I was unaware of the Paul Hornung robbery of Hank Lauricella in 1951 during a UT national championship season.  Now I need to look into this!  Jeez!  

Proud member of the EBMCC (Eric Berry Man Crush Club) and Josh McNeil's Videographer

by Volorado on Dec 11, 2007 3:20 PM EST reply actions  

Forgot to add this
Sorry to hear about the accident, but very happy to find out everything (and more importantly, everybody) is fine.  
Proud member of the EBMCC (Eric Berry Man Crush Club) and Josh McNeil's Videographer

by Volorado on Dec 11, 2007 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

1997
"I just like to think if we put the shoe on the other foot and Peyton was a DB/PR that touched the ball 4-5 times a game who won the award and Charles Woodson was a QB with amazing stats that had an impact on every offensive play, what Michigan people would say."

If the shoe was on the other foot, the Michiganders would be whiny about it, true. But we would act like they do now about it. Let's face it, sports fans act like the biggest idiots in cases like these.

by Maynard on Dec 12, 2007 6:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Good to hear the family's alright.
Seriously.  It may be a pseudo-obligatory comment, but it's sincere.

On football news, I hope the Sugar Bowl is smart enough to let UGA and UH do a little Soulja Boy / Haka square-off.  It'd be great pregame entertainment.

Also, thanks for the recruiting table.  It's hard to keep up with all that, but my vague impression has been that UT hasn't been as successful in recruiting this year as in previous years.  Part of that is LSU hogging all the 5-stars, part of that is continued blowover from TSOWWDNS, which occurred when the current batch of kids were sophomores and really starting to look at the programs they wanted to be a part of.  Still, the rankings aren't a golden rule of quality, and there's lots of reasons to be hopeful, so long as we get the needs filled with good, hard-working talent.

by David Hooper on Dec 11, 2007 4:42 PM EST reply actions  

What, no On-Star?!
In all seriousness, I'm glad the family is ok.  I had a recent hydroplaning encounter that left me in a ditch of rif-raf.  Long story short -- NOT FUN!
  • In order to effectively use the "spread", we'll need a viable running QB.  AiO was hardly a threat to run, and every time J-Cromp or G-Jones lined up at QB, they were hardly a threat to throw. (Although G-Jones did bust a few pretty runs vs. LSU.)
  • I'm STILL laughing about the "assault with a delicious weapon"!  Holly, you are just the greatest!

by Aerobab on Dec 11, 2007 9:10 PM EST reply actions  

"color"
Joel, you always manage to make my sailor mouth sound so genteel.  :)

by Holly Anderson on Dec 11, 2007 9:51 PM EST reply actions  

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