Tennessee Volunteers vs. South Carolina Gamecocks: the RTT Extreme Apathetic Game Preview! Blah!

Stats and stuff after the jump, but first the key observations:

• Blah, blah, blah. They have a good defense, and so do we. Blah.
• Blah. Our offense stinks worse than theirs, and theirs is piloted by a QB whose name is synonomous with malodorous.
• Third blah downs. And why aren't my logos working? Mumble, mumble rfff, rrffff powweb blahblah.

Okay, so the stats:

Tennessee rush v. South Carolina defense	Tennessee pass v. South Carolina defense	South Carolina rush v. Tennessee defense	South Carolina pass v. Tennessee defense
100 (11)	98 (9)	23 (4)	17 (5)
36 (7)	12 (2)	108 (12)	36 (2)

Field Goals	Tennessee punting v. South Carolina punt return	South Carolina punting v. Tennessee punt return	Intangibles
T-45 (7)	99 (12)	60 (9)
T-13 (T-1)	84 (10)	87 (10)

Man, these things all look alike. Blah, blah, blah, our offense stinks, their defense is good, but maybeperhapspossibly we might have a chance to stop their offense. Blah, blah, blah, fourth quarter fatigue, good enough to win blah. What happened to our blah blah punting game? Blah Spurrier Fulmer blah. MuschampLeachGrudenKiffin. Money blah.

Here's how the teams look next to each other in each of the key statistical categories currently used in the RTT Ready, Fire, Aim BlogPoll Computer Ballot:

Rank	Team	WL	SOS	PED	RD	3DO	TD	PEO	EXP	OPPG	TO	3DD	AVG R	W AVG
41		41	24	12	36	37	4	62	26	15	79	28	33.09	378.53
82		82	11	17	23	94	14	103	45	22	112	67	53.64	750.44

Aaaand the context for the numbers:

Opponent Result Record at UCLA  L 27-24 0-1 (0-0) UAB  W 35-3 1-1 (0-0) No. 4 Florida  L 30-6 1-2 (0-1) at No. 15 Auburn  L 14-12 1-3 (0-2) Northern Illinois  W 13-9 2-3 (0-2) at No. 10 Georgia L 26-14 2-4 (0-3) Mississippi State W 34-3 3-4 (1-3) No. 1 Alabama L 29-9 3-5 (1-4)	Opponent Result Record North Carolina State  W 34-0 1-0 (0-0) at Vanderbilt  L 24-17 1-1 (0-1) No. 2 Georgia  L 14-7 1-2 (0-2) Wofford  W 23-13 2-2 (0-2) UAB  W 26-13 3-2 (0-2) at Mississippi  W 31-24 4-2 (1-2) at Kentucky  W 24-17 5-2 (2-2) No. 13 LSU  L 24-17 5-3 (2-3)

Heeeeyyy. We've lost to more better teams than them! We lost to No. 1 Alabama, they lost to No. 2 Georgia. Cancel. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, we lost to Georgia, too, and never you mind about the relative scores, son. I have a point to make. It's the political season, the season of rampant, unrelenting obfuscation, and I will not be dissuaded.) We lost to No. 4 Florida, and they lost to No. 13 LSU. Better. After that, they haven't played any ranked teams, and they lost to unranked Vandy, while we lost to teams ranked Nos. 10 and 15 at the time. That's better. Weeee haven't lost to any unranked teams*. Weeee beat UAB worse than they did. Theeeeey have a QB named Smelley and another who vandalizes automobiles. They have Steve Spurrier, and Steve Spurrier wants to raise your taxes and bomb your buildings. We're in good shape here, my friends.

*that are not based in large metropolitan areas and wear sissy colors

So what's it all mean?

• Offense, defense, blah blah Eric Berry blah.
• Third down offense, defense, Mustang blah.
• Steve Spurrier is the devil. Blah.