Tennessee Volunteers vs. South Carolina Gamecocks: the RTT Extreme Apathetic Game Preview! Blah!

Stats and stuff after the jump, but first the key observations:

  • Blah, blah, blah. They have a good defense, and so do we. Blah.
  • Blah. Our offense stinks worse than theirs, and theirs is piloted by a QB whose name is synonomous with malodorous.
  • Third blah downs. And why aren't my logos working? Mumble, mumble rfff, rrffff powweb blahblah.

Okay, so the stats:

Tennessee rush
v.
South Carolina defense
Tennessee pass
v.
South Carolina defense
South Carolina rush
v.
Tennessee defense
South Carolina pass
v.
Tennessee defense
100 (11)
98 (9)
23 (4)
17 (5)
36 (7)
12 (2)
108 (12)
36 (2)
South Carolina logo
South Carolina logo
Tennessee logo
Tennessee logo
Field Goals
Tennessee punting
v.
South Carolina punt return
South Carolina punting
v.
Tennessee punt return
Intangibles
T-45 (7)
99 (12)
60 (9)
T-13 (T-1)
84 (10)
87 (10)
South Carolina logo
South Carolina logo
Tennessee logo
South Carolina logo

Man, these things all look alike. Blah, blah, blah, our offense stinks, their defense is good, but maybeperhapspossibly we might have a chance to stop their offense. Blah, blah, blah, fourth quarter fatigue, good enough to win blah. What happened to our blah blah punting game? Blah Spurrier Fulmer blah. MuschampLeachGrudenKiffin. Money blah.

Here's how the teams look next to each other in each of the key statistical categories currently used in the RTT Ready, Fire, Aim BlogPoll Computer Ballot:

Rank
Team
WL
SOS
PED
RD
3DO
TD
PEO
EXP
OPPG
TO
3DD
AVG R
W AVG
41
South Carolina logo
41
24
12
36
37
4
62
26
15
79
28
33.09
378.53
82
Tennessee logo
82
11
17
23
94
14
103
45
22
112
67
53.64
750.44

Aaaand the context for the numbers:

Tennessee logo
South Carolina logo

 

Opponent
Result
Record
at UCLA  L 27-24
0-1 (0-0)
UAB  W 35-3
1-1 (0-0)
No. 4 Florida  L 30-6
1-2 (0-1)
at No. 15 Auburn  L 14-12
1-3 (0-2)
Northern Illinois  W 13-9 2-3 (0-2)
at No. 10 Georgia L 26-14 2-4 (0-3)
Mississippi State W 34-3 3-4 (1-3)
No. 1 Alabama L 29-9 3-5 (1-4)

 

Opponent Result Record
North Carolina State  W 34-0 1-0 (0-0)
at Vanderbilt  L 24-17 1-1 (0-1)
No. 2 Georgia  L 14-7 1-2 (0-2)
Wofford  W 23-13 2-2 (0-2)
UAB  W 26-13 3-2 (0-2)
at Mississippi  W 31-24 4-2 (1-2)
at Kentucky  W 24-17 5-2 (2-2)
No. 13 LSU  L 24-17 5-3 (2-3)

Heeeeyyy. We've lost to more better teams than them! We lost to No. 1 Alabama, they lost to No. 2 Georgia. Cancel. (Yeah, yeah, yeah, we lost to Georgia, too, and never you mind about the relative scores, son. I have a point to make. It's the political season, the season of rampant, unrelenting obfuscation, and I will not be dissuaded.) We lost to No. 4 Florida, and they lost to No. 13 LSU. Better. After that, they haven't played any ranked teams, and they lost to unranked Vandy, while we lost to teams ranked Nos. 10 and 15 at the time. That's better. Weeee haven't lost to any unranked teams*. Weeee beat UAB worse than they did. Theeeeey have a QB named Smelley and another who vandalizes automobiles. They have Steve Spurrier, and Steve Spurrier wants to raise your taxes and bomb your buildings. We're in good shape here, my friends.

*that are not based in large metropolitan areas and wear sissy colors

So what's it all mean?

  • Offense, defense, blah blah Eric Berry blah.
  • Third down offense, defense, Mustang blah.
  • Steve Spurrier is the devil. Blah.
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