VOICE (M. H. )  SHUT UP IN THERE.  Alright, you all know the drill.  When your number is called, step forward and repeat the phrase you've been given.  Understand?

(The men all nod.)

VOICE (M. H. )  Number one.  Step forward.

(Gruden takes a step forward. He looks directly into a mirror on the other side of the room. It is three feet square and we can make out faint light behind it. It is a two-way. He speaks in a complete dead-pan.)

Gruden:  Hand me the film, you darn heckworker.

VOICE (M. H. )  Number 2, step forward.

(Leach steps up and makes a gun with his thumb and forefinger.  He mocks criminal intensity, pointing at the mirror.  He camps up his line.)

Leach:   Give me the film, you gosh-darn, heckworking pile of heck, or I'll rip off your-

VOICE (M. H. )  KNOCK IT OFF.  Get back in line. 

Leach:  Aaarrghh.

(Leach steps back.)

VOICE (M. H. )  Number 3, step forward.

(Davis steps forward.)

Davis:  Hand me the film, you heckworker.

VOICE (M. H. )  In English, please?

Davis:  Excuse me?

VOICE (M. H. )  In English.

Davis:  Hand me the darn film, you heckworker, what the heck?

What the Vols never figured out, and what I know now, was that these men would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody. Anybody.