LOL, your logo is sooo scary!

by Joel on Aug 4, 2008 7:00 AM EDT in College Football Comment 20 comments

American football is 30% preparation, 30% talent, and a full 40% intimidation. Little wonder that most college football logos feature wild animals snarling, charging, diving, swooping, thrusting, clawing, ramming or otherwise threatening all manner of bodily harm. Those logos that don't suggest patent hostility have such significant histories of dominating opponents that they can rely on a single letter and a single color to instill fear in their opponents.

Some schools, though, apparently didn’t get the memo and instead opted for, intentionally or otherwise, something more . . . approachable. Something cute, cuddly, or just downright comedic.

A few examples of how not to intimidate your rival with your logo:

	Sure, they can kick, but kangaroos have built-in purses. Especially the ones that are over-populating the streets of Akron, Ohio, or so I hear. The "Zips" should have just gone with an actual zipper. Most guys I know have had more bad experiences with zippers than with kangaroos.
	Arizona State’s little devil-man is carrying a salad fork and wearing a full-body maroon leotard. Yes, he has his angry eyes on, but like a disapproving glance from Brian Boitano or the growl of a Labradoodle or Cockerpoo, it doesn't really get the job done.
	Awww. You know, most canine mascots are pictured in the act of growling. Or crouching. Something that suggests that it's ready to pounce and take a chunk of meat the size of Rhode Island out of your thigh. Not the Connecticut Husky. He only wants to get out of the hot sun so he can pant, drool, and lick your face. Your six-year-old daughter wants to cuddle with this dog because it is sooooo poofy and cute! Michael Vick’s punishment should be walking this dog through downtown Atlanta on a leash and picking up its poop, which I'm guessing is also adorable.
	Ooh, la la. The University of Washington's husky is sleek and sexy. There’s danger in that, but not on the football field.
	It's not that a pirate was a bad idea, it's that it looks more like your dad on his way to fry fish at the Captain D’s. As a matter of fact, I’m relatively certain that East Carolina's logo was cut out from a placemat colored by one of the customers’ kids. Hey, he stayed in the lines.
	Popeye’s dog had some potential as well, but the execution . . . oy. I think it’s the sweatshirt with the block “F” on it. It does not stand for “fear.”
	It’s a bird! It’s a clown! It’s a Clown-Bird, complete with oversized puffy shoes and an abnormally-sized see-through beak. Sue Grafton says K is for Kill, but Kansas' Jayhawk is not intimidating. Frightening, in a Teletubbie in your garage kind of way, yes, but intimidating? No.
	Do not trifle with the Fighting Notary Publics! Louisiana-Lafayette's commission expires in December, 2012.
	Come on. Maryland isn't fooling anyone by calling it a Terrapin. Not only is it a turtle, it's an embarrassingly stupid one. If you’re slow, you’d at least better lead with your shell, don't you think? The thing doesn’t even have teeth, making it look like your grandpa without his bathrobe. The thing probably dominates all comers in time of possession, though, so there's that.
	Watch out, he’s got a rope!
	Watch out, he’s got a towel!
	Yeah. It's a tree. Stanford's mascot is difficult to tackle, but not too hard to keep out of the end zone.
	You know that picture that’s both an old, wrinkly woman and a beautiful young lady? The one that supposedly tells you something about yourself depending on which you see first? Well, what do you see in Colorado State's logo, and what does it say about you? Is it a ram, or is it a mirror image of Droopy Mime Elvis? And sure, it could be a ram, but maybe it’s a bear rehearsing for Phantom of the Opera. Stare at that thing long enough, and you can pretty much see anything you like.
	Um, just how did this one get past the NCAA Committee on Political Correctness? I mean, talk about bold. Dude’s skin color is exactly the same as the fire engine red Aztecs lettering, and he’s wearing a sundial on his ear. Sunscreen, people. Sunscreen.
	My, isn’t my helmet shiny! It reflects light to ends of the atmosphere! As a matter of fact, San Jose's Spartan's exceedingly reflective helmet is probably responsible for San Diego State's Indian's impending melanoma.

Coming later this week:

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Comments

Rorschach Fail

Joel, I’m going to need a little help with the Droopy Mime Elvis. My abstracto-neurons haven’t received their caffeine yet. (The grumpo-neurons are hogging it all.)

Other comments:

”...grandpa without his bathrobe.” He’s out again?

Western Kentucky U.: Sorry, Tru, but none of the connotations are good. After “Whip It” and memories of junior high P.E. classes, there’s simply no room left for positive images with that.

I’m a little surprised Iowa wasn’t there. Rotate the logo 90 degrees (so that the beak is at the bottom) and you have … Fred Flinstone!

by Hooper on Aug 4, 2008 8:32 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

love logo wars

sticking with the Big Ten, I gotta say I’m a bit surprised (and thankful) that the Gophers didn’t make the list of least intimidating logos.

Great work, love the topic.

Gopher Nation

by GopherNation on Aug 4, 2008 9:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

The image doesn't show on my computer

Is this the logo you were referring to?

Well, I don’t know about you, but if something with teeth that big were after me, I’d think twice about fighting it. I mean, it’s got huge fangs! Run away! Run away!

Or not, but points to you for candor. :)

by Hooper on Aug 4, 2008 10:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Oh, they're on my list

They’re one of the “classics,” though, because they use one letter. They did trick it out a little, though, so it almost doesn’t fit that category, either. Anyway, the M is on its way, but really, I should have used the Gopher hooper posted below. That there’s a pretty funny one, too.

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 4, 2008 12:07 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

hahahaha

RTT bring me much joy everyday, so it’s saying something that this post was my favorite of all time.

“Watch out! He has a rope!”

“Watch out! He has a towel!”

hahjahahahahyah

by The Power T on Aug 4, 2008 11:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

If East Carolina wants to really scare some people...

They could always change their logo to this.

"Quickly, bring me a beaker of wine that I may wet my mind and say something clever." - Aristophanes

by DawgterFeelgood on Aug 5, 2008 11:33 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Yikes

That’d do it. So young. But so scary.

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 5, 2008 12:12 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Sorry,

But I have to jump in here. How can we have scary logos anymore? With the political correctness movement, anything implying violence is forbidden.

Second of all, how is your “T” logo scary?

Thanks.

by giants9107 on Aug 6, 2008 9:50 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Thanks for stopping by

You must have missed it, though. The Power T made the most boring list. Although I do have to say that it’s at least better than most single character logos. It’s got curves. And power. And ‘tis orange.

;-)

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 6, 2008 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

I saw that afterwards. The WKU towel could’ve been both :)

I didn’t quite figure out your system before I posted, sorry. Looks pretty good to me. I think you missed one though. Sorry about the size.

by giants9107 on Aug 7, 2008 1:05 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

lol

That’s really bad on many levels. Who is that?

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 7, 2008 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

U-Cal Irvine

They’re Div II (or FCS, or whatever they want to call it next year).

by Hooper on Aug 7, 2008 1:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Well

D-I baseball. Anyway, they have one of the worst mascots ever.

by giants9107 on Aug 7, 2008 8:26 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah

And I’d limit the whole stacking concept to two letters.

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 7, 2008 9:29 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

I think the Delta State Fighting Okra's take the cake...

by Getoffmyvols on Aug 8, 2008 11:37 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I think the Delta State Fighting Okra's take the cake...

by Getoffmyvols on Aug 8, 2008 11:38 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Wow.

by Hooper on Aug 8, 2008 11:54 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

That's just . . .

. . . wrong.

And look! He’s got an incontinence problem!

Go Vols!

by Joel on Aug 8, 2008 8:20 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Can't let this one pass.

I know we’re looking at IA (FBS) schools, but the cutest mascot belongs to the Youngstown State Penguins. Any of you fortunate enough to have YSU on your non-con schedule will get to enjoy a game against the most huggable mascot ever.