Defeat of Crompton Bailout, Stock Slides

KNOXVILLE, TN – Jonathan Crompton's, (JCR, Tennessee 11) stock was in a freefall today, a move precipitated when his coaching staff rejected his bailout plan. The move was caused by news Sunday night that Philip Fulmer (head coach of the University of Tennessee) planned on splitting practice time between Crompton and Nick Stephens (NST, Tennessee 2-Deep). Crompton subsequently stated, “I'm still going to be the guy,” which did nothing to quell the fear of the sellers early Monday morning when the market opened.

The fall in the stock price can be tied to the failure of Fulmer to remove Crompton's bad passes from the game book. Removing these bad passes from Crompton's balance sheet should have the effect easing fears of his ability to quarterback the University of Tennessee. However, Fulmer said that he just could not allow this cost to be passed on to Tennessee investors. Crompton's argument was that if you just remove his 15 incompletions from Saturday's game versus Auburn, his stats would be 8-8 for 67 yards, a respectable average of over 8 yards per attempt for the game. Fulmer responded by saying this would be more respectable if it was a quarterly total.

Coach Fulmer would not say if Crompton's stock had dropped below that of Stephen's, but that they were virtually equivalent options and the rest of the week would show who had better command of the “mental part of the game.”

The leader of this Crompton Bear Market, Gary Danielson (a CBS Analyst), has used such words as “ugh” to describe Crompton's stock's dismal performance. He went on to say that Crompton's stock is doing extremely well, “if what he's supposed to do is miss a wide-open touchdown in the endzone.”

Coach Fulmer stated, “I am not for sure that Crompton's stock can recover, but we are going to work like heck to make sure that we can get the most value possible from our quarterback position.”