Disclaimer: Chill. We're just having fun, okay?
The official Record of Wrongs committed by the Florida Gators against the Tennessee Volunteers:
- The Florida Gators are The Abomination.
- Somehow, despite losing three games to one to the Vols over the same time period, the Gators won the NCAA Tournament twice in a row.
- The Gators were national champions in football and basketball at the same time. During the same timeframe, "Tennessee . . . lost a bowl game named after a steakhouse and was put out of [the] basketball tournament by a team whose mascot is a bail of wheat."
- Florida once came to town and caused the refs to call 52 fouls in a single game. Yes, of course they are to blame. Why do you ask? Who are you and why do you hate America?
- They open the doors to their pool area in advance of home games to increase the humidity, which has had the effect of turning opposing coaches into soaker hoses.
- Nick Calathes' hair and wardrobe.
- Billy Donovan looks like Eddie Munster.
- Dan Werner. He's the guy who once tackled J.P. Prince in mid-air, causing Ted Valentine to issue a techincal foul to . . . J.P. Prince and the guy who initiated a scrum by elbowing Tyler Smith in the face, ultimately provoking the Glare of Doom that made one of the RTT commenters incontinent of bowel.
- 2/3/07. Florida 94, Tennessee 78.
- Billy Donovan once dissed one of his players behind his back telling none other than Dick Vitale -- who either can't keep secrets or doesn't understand cell phones -- that the pro scouts would be making a huge mistake if they took one over a teammate in the NBA Draft.
- During blowouts, Joakim Noah becomes a crybaby and Billy Donovan becomes sassy.
- Simply put, Florida is the most despised school in the conference. Unlike the rest of the SEC teams, they're not really even in the South. They have the arrogance of Notre Dame and the tradition of Wake Forest. The Gator Chomp is stupid. Playing Theme from Jaws, a movie about a killer shark, for a school with an alligator mascot, is stupid. Putting a crocodile instead of an alligator on the media guide? Stupid.
- They win and win and win and do so convincingly, which is most certainly the worst wrong of all.
What have I missed?