The Record of Wrongs: Alabama Crimson Tide
by Joel Hollingsworth on Oct 22, 2009 7:39 AM EDT
in Tennessee Volunteer Football
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PrintHear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Alabama Crimson Tide.
- October 25, 2008: Alabama 29, Tennessee 9. The Tide subjected us to yet another humbling defeat in a season filled with them, all while the JumboTron constantly reminded us just how far we'd fallen. Nick Stephens had the longest rush of the day. All in all, it was a swift kick in the secrets and prompted this:
- October 20, 2007: Alabama 41, Tennessee 17. AKA the D.J. Hall game, this one was overflowing with more than a few of my not favorite things, including a zero percent success rate for the offense in the second half. Montariro Hardesty called in frustrated on Sunday. Oh, and the Tide called an onside kick to begin the game. Boo! They even overran the RTT ad space:
The NCAA Committee on Infractions called the University of Alabama a "serial repeat violator" with an "abysmal infractions track record" and an "extensive recent history of infractions cases unmatched by any other member institution in the NCAA," in responding to the school's textbook appeal, according to documents released today.
Probably not true
- Houndstooth is made not of canine incisors or even fabric, but the bones and brains of baby bunnies.
- In the 1990s, Alabama boosters voted to divert millions of dollars from the football program to fund the cryogenic preservation of the remains of Bear Bryant. Being Alabama, they used dry ice and a large styrofoam cooler with results that were
horricallyhorrifically gruesome even by 'Bama standards. - Since the day he was let go, Mike Shula has received hourly death threats in crimson-colored envelopes against him, his family, his pets, and his lawn.
That's all I've got for now. The floor is open.
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I know this one isn't true:
In the 1990s, Alabama boosters voted to divert millions of dollars from the football program to fund the cryogenic preservation of the remains of Bear Bryant. Being Alabama, they used dry ice and a large styrofoam cooler with results that were horrically gruesome even by ’Bama standards.
Should be
In the 1990s, Alabama boosters voted to divert millions of dollars from the football program to fund the “recruits 4 sale” program.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
and so it begins...
nice opening. ;-)
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Every time they beat us
somebody has to get their widdle paintbrush out and satisfy every Bammer’s need to cover their entire place of residence in fine quality art like this.
And really, how ridiculous is this one? It’s not a fark, it’s $49.95. And how many people at that table are cheating?
I'm impressed
Will stepping up with a little hate? And great cheating reference!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
I have great respect for Alabama
But whenever this week rolls around, I remember that I also don’t like them. At all. It’s healthy.
Plus, you can’t respect that painting. If someone painted Gen. Neyland, Doug Dickey, John Majors, Phillip Fulmer and Lane Kiffin playing cards and drinking coke, I’d own it for comedic value and break it out every time I felt like I was taking life too seriously. Someone, I doubt that’s how the Bama version is being used in living rooms across The Heart of Dixie.
by Will Shelton on Oct 22, 2009 10:25 AM EDT up reply actions
And how many people at that table are cheating?
Answer: seven. And yes, I know that you only see five at the table.
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 10:31 AM EDT up reply actions
They could at least spell Tennessee right
Of course, I should realize who I am talking about.
Official MCM Hater!
Retire #9!
That was pre-textbooks
and that reference will never die….
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Though this much has to be said:
If you’re an artist who would actually like to, you know, eat, selling Alabama art is easy money. Supply, meet demand.
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 10:34 AM EDT up reply actions
Missing coaches
Where are those Bama stalwarts like Dubose, Franccione, and the unforgettable Mike ("We"re rolling now, baby!") Price?
Vinnie Testaverde is always remembered for Tennessee kicking his ass.
UTEP was on ESPN last night
I hope Mike Price is on television more often, because those jokes will never, ever get old.
by Will Shelton on Oct 22, 2009 1:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Also, Alabama fans
I’m sick of hearing how you refer to Nick Saban as “your coach.” You act as if he has some deep tie to the University of Alabama and it’s program. You love him, and you wish he loved you back. But we know that’s not true, don’t we? Don’t get me wrong, he is a wonderful coach: he’s disciplined, got good schemes, and does a good job getting his team ready for a game. Why? Because he wants to win, yes, but it doesn’t stop there.
He wins because he wants money.
That is, quite obviously, all that he cares about. Sure he wants to put his players in a position to succeed, because if he succeeds then he gets “moar munee$.” Here’s a fact for you, SRVs: Nick Saban has yet to stay at a program longer than 5 years, and he’s always left for more money. In 1999, after a 34-24-1 career in 5 seasons at Michigan State, he bolted for LSU, not even bothering to coach the bowl game. (He was 0-3 in bowl games at Michigan State, losing by a combined score of 144-49. Yikes!) How did the Spartans do in that game that Nick $aban didn’t coach? They won, 37-34 over the Florida Gators.
Then come LSU, with their storied paycheck “tradition.” 5 Seasons, 2 SEC Championships, and 1 National title say he did well, and he did.. well. 16 losses in 5 seasons is really hardly anything to be proud of, is it? But, it was certainly a success since, after all, a non-vacated national championship and a pair of SEC championships is a good thing, and Nick Saban can proudly say he shattered our lives in 2001. Of course, he did lose to UAB his first year. Continuation of a trend?
But, the success was coming in, wasn’t it? What more could Saban want from a bunch of — hmm, what’s a delicate way to put it? ‘Cajuns’ (As a sidenote: the best way to ‘not condone’ something is to, you know, not do it.) — I know what he wants, I know! So, enter the NFL and a hefty paycheck after LSU lost to Iowa in a fun lul whut r dis ‘cuvreeg’ thing u meen? fashion. How’d that NFL thing work out for Nick Saban? No way, he had a talented team but had a 3-7 start and a 1-6 start?! (they would end 9-7 and 6-10, respectively). Man, it’s like College Success doesn’t always translate over to the NFL, or something. Weird, isn’t it?!
Then came Alabama. Well, before that came, you know, this:
“When I was in college it was always about coming to the pros. This is the challenge I wanted. I had a good college job. Why would I have left that if I was going to be interested in other college jobs?
”I took this as a challenge. We certainly haven’t seen this through and gotten where we want to go and finished the job here, so why would I be interested in something else?"
I guess I have to say it. I’m not going to be the Alabama coach.And Alabama fans think Phillip Fulmer was a dishonest man? Lulwut?
And then Alabama. We all know how that’s turned out: he’s doing solid. But, come on .. Losses to Mississippi State? To Louisiana Monroe?! I suppose, 3 years from now, Nick Saban will be the coach at Ohio State, and Nick Saban will have to pick which directional-Ohio school to choke against.
He’s 4-6 in bowl games. He’s got 50 losses in 13 seasons, 110 wins in those seasons (this one excluded, since it’s not complete.) Want to know what that tells me? It tells me that it took him 3 more years to get a National Championship than Phillip Fulmer, and he got to 50 losses 4 years more quickly. He’s also already been a head coach at 5 different schools in his coaching tenure — a 1 season stint at Toledo counts for the other one.
So Alabama fans: you’ve got a good coach. Keep him. Keep him as long as you can pay him, because he’s not your coach, he’s your money’s coach.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
Somehow I forgot to add
That apparently Louisiana-Monroe = Japan, or the Germans, or something, or like .. Terrorists. And apparently his football players are just innocent citizens who got killed by foreign aggression, or something?
Changes in history usually occur after some kind of catastrophic event. It may be 9–11, which sort of changed the spirit of America relative to catastrophic events. Pearl Harbor kind of got us ready for World War II, or whatever, and that was a catastrophic event.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:17 AM EDT up reply actions
But hey!
At least he doesn’t take shots at other coaches, right!
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:18 AM EDT up reply actions
This is pure heresay, but:
a neighbor of mine, who coaches O-Line for a Div 1 football team said that in the coaches’ pipeline talk is that Saban wants out of ‘bama because, "he can’t take a dump in the state without someone looking over the stall door to ask him about the football team".
Granted, this was early last year, and I personally don’t see it happening with as much success as he has had at ’bama, but apparently that was the talk in the coaching arena.
I know, I know, its heresay from an unnamed source, but I found the quote pretty funny.
RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!
by Pride of the Southland on Oct 22, 2009 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions
You should have made that a Fanpost btw Bobo. Still can actually
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
He wins because he wants money. That is, quite obviously, all that he cares about.
except that he took a pay cut to come to Alabama. But hey, let’s not let the facts get in the way of your arguments. Carry on.
What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.
-Hank Hill
Well, he wasn't winning at Miami.
And he knows if he wins a championship at Alabama, those $$$ will go WHEE!
I mean, what has he done so far? ;-)
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 12:44 PM EDT up reply actions
A short-term paycut.
You’ve seen the NFL coaching rotisserie in action. How long do you think he would have been at Miami with the projection of the program as it was when he left? In contrast, all he had to do at Alabama was, you know, not suck like the last several head coaches, and he’d make bank for years.
(It’s the same reason I’m suffering through grad school. I’m living on somewhat of a month-to-month basis, knowing that my long-term future is going to be ridiculously secure – not just financially, but in job stability as well. I’ve seen the numbers; it’ll take decades before my industry is properly staffed again.)
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I’m sure you all enjoyed that one while you were sitting at home not watching your team play in a bowl game.
What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.
-Hank Hill
That's a stoopid argument
Because you know the answer is “Hell yes. We did.”
Official MCM Hater!
Retire #9!
you missed the point
What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.
-Hank Hill
No
I think you missed his. Yes, our team sucked that year, but we absolutely enjoyed watching that loss, from home, while our team didn’t play in a bowl game. So, here’s to your attempt at a dig:
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
we absolutely enjoyed watching that loss
Well the fact that you enjoyed it was the point of the original post. I countered with a jab about your team not even making a bowl. So going back to “haha you guys lost to Utah” is, as you would say, a “stoopid argument”. Epic Fail indeed.
What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.
-Hank Hill
U snot making a bowl is irrevelant
We would enjoy watching an MWC team beatdown Alabama any day of the week no matter if Tennessee lost every game of the season and got the NCAA death penalty. We would still enjoy watching that game.
Epic Fail indeed.
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 12:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I'm feeling lazy today
so I’m just gonna repost a link to my premature hateration.
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Paul Revere kind of got us ready for the Revolutionary war, or whatever, at that was a catastrophic event.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:32 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Best one yet!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
From Volnation:
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:37 AM EDT up reply actions
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:34 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I guess I'll jump in here also
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Notice the forward written by the NFL's head cheater. Hmmmmmmmm
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Or, you could get this one
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Oh, and Volbrian ...
Apparently Nick Saban wants to live in Northeastern Georgia.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
Oh, now it's on.
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
To make it easier
“Nick Saban … North Georgia.”
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:54 AM EDT up reply actions
Julio Jones fishing trip????
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
I'M ON A BOAT MOTHER ****er DON'T YOU EVER ______ ....
F.. Fer. .. Dangit, I didn’t get that far in my textbook b4 the NCAA took it away :( Guys? A Lil’ help here?
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:55 AM EDT up reply actions
Good morning !!
I’ve got 2 24oz cups of coffee and a fresh pack of smokes !!! lets have some fun !!!
I don't give a damm about the whole state of Alabama !!
Cheaties anyone?
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Now you can get them
In “Sensei” Version!
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 10:59 AM EDT up reply actions
Bama Cheerleaders
a href=“http://photobucket.com/images/funny%20alabama%20pics” target="_blank">
I don't give a damm about the whole state of Alabama !!
Lol, why does this look familiar?
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:01 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Woooooooooooo
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
It's Christmas in Bama!!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
And Another:
Your Mother Slept With Will Chamberlin is pure gold.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:14 AM EDT up reply actions
"/>
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
rofl..
Nice ;-)
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:13 AM EDT up reply actions
ECk ..
That’s a copy of a OSU/Michigan picture, so, meh :p
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:15 AM EDT up reply actions
"/>
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Another Classic:
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:16 AM EDT reply actions 4 recs
this one has to go green
RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!
by Pride of the Southland on Oct 22, 2009 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Windows Bama Version
"/>
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 11:18 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
REC TO INFINITY!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Thank you!
I have been trying to find that picture for a long time.
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions
YMSWWC
Again.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 12:04 PM EDT up reply actions
Q: What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
A: Somebody’s fixin’ to lose them a trailer.
Q. Where was OJ headed in the white Bronco
A. To Tuscaloosa…he knew the police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there!
Q. Whats the difference between Alabama and cheerios?
A. One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
Q. How do you keep Freddie Kitchens from hitting you with a football?
A. Wear a Bama jersey!
Q. Did you hear about the Alabama quarterback who tried to throw himself on the floor in a fit of rage?
A. He missed!
Q. What’s the difference between a University of Alabama sorority sister and a scarecrow?
A. One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals.
You’re probably an Auburn fan if …
… You can play the Auburn fight song using your armpit.
… Your wife’s idea of cleaning house is throwing everything out into the yard.
… The Roto-Rooter man stops by your trailer and asks, “What’s that smell?”
… You’re a member of the Skoal Frequent Purchaser Program.
… You looked up your family tree and your uncle spit on you.
… You joined Alcoholics Anonymous so you can drink and use a different name.
… You looked out for #1 and stepped in #2 !!!
… You won’t buy a Japanese car because you’re afraid you won’t understand what they say on the radio.
… Your kids go to a private school and they won’t tell you where it is.
… Your Granny beats you in the tobacky spittin’ contests.
Q. Do you know why Terry Bowden was fired?
A. He was too short to step down.
Q. What is the difference between a litter of puppies and Alabama fans?
A. The puppies stop whining after 6 weeks.
This year’s Auburn team is so sorry they have to buy a house just to get a yard.
Q. How do you keep an Auburn football player out of your yard?
A. Put a goal post in it.
Q. How many Alabama fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Just one, but it takes a roomfull to sit around and talk about how the BEAR would have done it.
I don't give a damm about the whole state of Alabama !!
I'm ashamed to say I've been to Talladega, AL
"/>
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g255/loxahatchee/2gameweek/AlabamaYoga.jpg
I don't give a damm about the whole state of Alabama !!
Roll Tide!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Wooooo again!
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Child abuse, again, and lazy advertising.
The couldn’t even change the Georgia logo on the shirt.
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
From The Tuscaloosa News:
"/>
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
I know it was posted elsewhere but I request Saban's phallus hat.
RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!
by Pride of the Southland on Oct 22, 2009 12:02 PM EDT reply actions
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
ah to bask in the warm glow of LOLs
RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!
by Pride of the Southland on Oct 22, 2009 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Anyone here goodish with photoshop?
I have a great idea, but not the skillz to pull it off.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
I wish, I am constantly getting inspiration, but I can hardly do MS Paint's spraycan :-(
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Never!
Unless you’re working, then you might have to wait.
….unless you’re working in Alabama, then Schlitz is part of your job description
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
If you live in Alabama
We’ve decided you can call it Yoga.
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Still 50 hours to kickoff!!!!!14
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
I kinda like that, actually.
Playful obnoxiousness meets obsessive stat-watching. Right up my alley.
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey, at least he's courteous.
See how he’s taking his boots off before entering? Keepin’ the mud off the floorboard like a proper passenger!
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 2:23 PM EDT up reply actions
That is just to damm funny !!!
You sir are on a roll !!!
I don't give a damm about the whole state of Alabama !!
(you oughta put a spy cam on that roll bar)
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions
GentleMAN?
I wonder if that was intentional.
by David Hooper on Oct 22, 2009 2:25 PM EDT up reply actions
I may have outdone myself here...
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
NOW the hate is really starting to come out!!
:-D
I told you we would beat Georgia!! Now, as for those 9 wins in '09......
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS
Looks Legit to me!
Tennessee Fans: We win at teh Internet!
by bobo_the_vol on Oct 22, 2009 5:43 PM EDT up reply actions
Looks like somebody used one of those little label makers
but on the INTARWEBS
Official MCM Hater!
Retire #9!
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