Hail Mary Haiku: Georgia Bulldogs edition

by Joel Hollingsworth on Oct 5, 2009 6:35 AM EDT in Tennessee Volunteer Football

It's time for this week's Hail Mary Haiku, Georgia Bulldogs edition.

Here's the concept for those new to the thing: You're behind by four at midfield. Only one second remains on the clock, and you have to heave the ball into a mass of players in the end zone and hope that one of your guys comes down with it. Bonus points for actually observing the traditional 5-7-5 format for haikus, but free form haikus are allowed. This is, after all, a desperation play.

On Thursday, we'll ask everyone to take a look at all of the entries and whittle them down with recs, and then we'll post the top ten or so on Friday and open it up for voting. Voting will continue until 6:00 a.m. on Saturday. We'll post the winner in the game day open thread. What do you get for winning? The esteem of your peers! It's totally worth it.

Enter yours by clicking on the "Comments" link below, and pass the invitation to enter along to others. Keep 'em clean, please.

Hike! Ooooh!

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Comments

Without quarterbacks,
opposing offenses are
due for a slapfight.

"Florida didnt win their first SEC title until 1991 and now they think they invented football."
-Ron Zook

by rustytanton on Oct 5, 2009 6:47 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs

Passes behind, drops
routes run wrong, Crompton dry heaves
two minutes to lose

(kind of a pick-me-up haiku)

by memphispete on Oct 5, 2009 8:07 AM EDT reply actions

let’s pray for clear skies
sun bad for ginger ninja
turn house lights on, too

...and we shall eat only the red skittles...

by thetennesseethumper on Oct 5, 2009 8:47 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

The Bulldogs can dream
Herchel Walker thirty four
To hell with Georgia

by bsdeca on Oct 5, 2009 9:10 AM EDT reply actions 4 recs

17 years ago
Fulmer got his first big win
against these here Dawgs

In this new era
our new coach will have his shot
at doing the same.

"I can't hear you, Rocky Top is playing."

by Getoffmyvols on Oct 5, 2009 10:15 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs

My first foray into the Haikus

Never seen Neyland loss
Please don’t break the streak now Vols
Beat the puppies senseless

Georgia fans are anachronistic
Believe a Chattanooga native
They still wear hobnailed boots?

That was very free form I suppose.

Football, Earhole, bad
Try hitting the hands Crompton
Hancock might go deaf

Neyland Stadium: Home of the biggest bust in quarterbacking history.
Hey Jon! How long will it take me to repress the memories??

by VolBrian on Oct 5, 2009 11:07 AM EDT reply actions

should I split these into seperate entries for the whittling process?

Neyland Stadium: Home of the biggest bust in quarterbacking history.
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS

by VolBrian on Oct 5, 2009 5:00 PM EDT up reply actions

Probably so

Yeah. Glad to see ’em!

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Oct 5, 2009 10:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Ginger Ninja plays
Georgia defense gives no help
Dawgs vulnerable

Ginger Avenger
still must learn patience on bench
so…let’s go, Crompton.

Rocky Top Talk

by Will Shelton on Oct 5, 2009 11:46 AM EDT reply actions

This is a single entry.

UGA’s M.O.?
Elite mediocrity.
3 losses each year.

Tennessee’s M.O.?
True greatness, interrupted
by a down cycle

In the present tense,
they should have the advantage.
More in their cupboard

But this was the case
In ’06….and ’07 too.
What, then, is my point?

My point: we can win!
The dawgs are reeling, and we
got nothing to lose

_______________________________
Eric Berry is better at football than you.

by kidbourbon on Oct 5, 2009 12:16 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Dear Vick, too bad you
cant return to NCAA, because you know
a little something about dawg abuse

RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!

by Pride of the Southland on Oct 5, 2009 1:10 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

Let's do both on Saturday

Watching Georgia lose
Is as enjoyable as
Watching the Vols win.

Lou Brock loves Lamp.

by birdjam on Oct 5, 2009 1:51 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs

cheers to that, sir!

...and we shall eat only the red skittles...

by thetennesseethumper on Oct 6, 2009 9:11 AM EDT up reply actions

Put it together ...

Florida Defense
And our 4th Quarter Offense
Sends the Vols bowling.

I got punk'd by UT's Athletic Department.

by bobo_the_vol on Oct 5, 2009 2:55 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

Tackling. Catching. Fire.
Good QB. These make good teams.
Let’s be one this week.

by Incipient_Senescence on Oct 5, 2009 4:16 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

Let's end ginger bias

Stephens, wanna play?
Need to shave signs of ginger.
It works for Joe Cox.

by ChattVol on Oct 5, 2009 10:13 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Vols'Dogs

Vols’Dogs or Dogs’Vols?
Outcome depends on O-Play
Or we clone EB

by Aerobab on Oct 5, 2009 10:29 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Just an ol sweet song,
Keeps Georgia on my mi-nd….
Heck with it – BEAT DOGS!

Ain't it good to be alive and be in Tennessee!

by ttocswob on Oct 7, 2009 2:21 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Orange stuck in Oz
Click the hob nail boots three times
There’s no place like home

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Oct 8, 2009 7:02 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs

stupid is as stupid does

ahm not much fer figgerin’ tha innards of this hyar compewtashon kajiggar.
but i would rec your haiku if i only knew how.

...and we shall eat only the red skittles...

by thetennesseethumper on Oct 8, 2009 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions

Just remembered...

Never seen Neyland loss
Please don’t break the streak now Vols
Beat the puppies senseless

Neyland Stadium: Home of the biggest bust in quarterbacking history.
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS

by VolBrian on Oct 8, 2009 9:18 AM EDT reply actions

Georgia fans are anachronistic
Believe a Chattanooga native
They still wear hobnailed boots?

Neyland Stadium: Home of the biggest bust in quarterbacking history.
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS

by VolBrian on Oct 8, 2009 9:18 AM EDT reply actions

Football, Earhole, bad
Try hitting the hands Crompton
Hancock might go deaf

Neyland Stadium: Home of the biggest bust in quarterbacking history.
I got bored and made a blog!! SCS

by VolBrian on Oct 8, 2009 9:18 AM EDT reply actions

For clarity:

Any haikus appearing below this comment were submitted post-deadline. (Unless it’s a clarification of a previously-submitted haiku.) Since no UGA fans submitted any subversive haikus into the stream, there shouldn’t be a repeat of the Auburn incident.

(Adding further to the evidence of a lack of creative thinking among the UGA faithful…)

by David Hooper on Oct 8, 2009 9:43 AM EDT reply actions