Best Plays of 2008: the Fourth of the Half
At stake: Kicking the new era off right. Vol fans were anxious to see what the innovative new Clawfense could do with live bullets. UCLA was in the midst of a complete coaching overhaul and basically had no quarterback. Winning this one in front of a national audience we had all to ourselves would put the world on notice that Tennessee's offense had finally entered the 21st century.
In-game context: Oops. Live bullets hurt when they shatter all five metatarsals. After UCLA got out to a 7-0 lead thanks to a blocked punt and recovery for a touchdown, Tennessee did get Montario Hardesty into the end zone. Other than that, though, the newly unveiled Clawfense looked positively horrid. On the other hand, the defense looked fantastic and had forced UCLA QB Kevin Craft into three first half interceptions already. And then this:
Impact: You'd think that four interceptions in a single half of football would ruin a guy's confidence. Not so with Kevin Craft, who caught fire in the second half, tied the game, and let our kicker lose it in overtime by missing a field goal. The defense had its own struggles in the second half but would come around soon enough. The Clawfense, though, well the Clawfense turned out to be less like a shiny new bike for Christmas and more like another pair of pants. Plaid corduroys. With smiley faces on them.
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*Whimper*
I think anything from the UCLA game is going to be voted off by me… just based on impulse, ha.
The "innovative new Clawfense"
Will keep this phrase in mind next time I forget my lunch and need an appetite suppressant.
"Florida didnt win their first SEC title until 1991 and now they think they invented football."
-Ron Zook
by rustytanton on May 26, 2009 10:35 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
It works as a diuretic, too
Rocky Top Talk
by Joel Hollingsworth on May 26, 2009 8:09 PM EDT up reply actions
I have trouble believing that.
After all, it couldn’t manage to make a quarterback pass, much less a kidney stone!
by David Hooper on May 26, 2009 9:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Nice
Now no more jokes about kidney stones. That’s some wicked bad pain.
I remember several years ago some guy telling me about him having stones all the time and thinking “Ouch. That doesn’t sound fun.”
And then mine, and “OHZAWOMMAMAHUTCHIE DEATHPLEASENOW!”
Rocky Top Talk
by Joel Hollingsworth on May 26, 2009 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Upon further review
Needs more exclamation points.
Rocky Top Talk
by Joel Hollingsworth on May 26, 2009 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
Pretty much.
I’m not a member of the club, thankfully, but I have yet to hear a kidney story that doesn’t suggest it might hurt worse that giving birth.
by David Hooper on May 27, 2009 10:56 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah
Babies are not jagged.
Rocky Top Talk
by Joel Hollingsworth on May 27, 2009 9:48 PM EDT up reply actions

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