Top 10 Things Mike Slive Told Lane Kiffin in Private

by War Eagle Atlanta on May 29, 2009 12:36 AM EDT

From the home office in Atlanta, Georgia, and just in from today's SEC meetings, where the commish publicly warned all the kids to stop the jabber-jawing, tonight's 10 Ten Things Mike Slive told Lane Kiffin in private:

10) "Listen, may I call you Kiffykins?"

9) "Do you shave your chest for those shirtless recruiting bits or is that Nair?"

8) "Al Davis called. He wants your self-respect back..."

7) "No, Saban is the short one and Spurrier is the visor..."

6) "I have no idea why Auburn hired Chizik either, but I rode in that recruiting limo down here and it is badazz..."

5) "I'm sorry, Fulmer WAS our double-secret enforcement guy, but you've only been here for 6 months..."

4) "Yea, Shane Matthews spoke his mind, but if you piss off Congressman Heath Shuler, you're f**k*d!

3) "What the hell? I think your name is tacked up at Florida Field more than Ben Hill Griffin's now..."

2) "So what's the deal with your hot wife?"

And the numero uno:

1) "One more outburst outta you, mister, and I'm sending a note home to your dad!"

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Meh

No points off for trying :)

by rblakeh on May 29, 2009 9:00 AM EDT reply actions

#7

made me laugh.

now with less meyton panning.

by Pride of the Southland on May 29, 2009 9:47 AM EDT reply actions

Wow

So you wrote all those down, read what you wrote, and then still decided to post it?

by kidbourbon on May 29, 2009 1:11 PM EDT reply actions

Agree, kid bourbon

If we were in the biz of insulting our own coach, we could craft a much better list than this.

But we aren’t, so we’ll just scratch our heads at the lack of talent on the Plains.

by memphispete on May 30, 2009 8:38 AM EDT reply actions

You might be, one day...

Come on, guys. You normally have a much better sense of humor over here!

And the lack of talent on the Plains has nothing to do with the writing, but probably on the field…

by War Eagle Atlanta on May 30, 2009 11:36 AM EDT up reply actions

Appreciate the Post but

I really thought there was sooo much material from the Kiffin-bashing headlines that the list was going to be funnier. Probably just a humor-challenged reader. Might have been the mood I was in when I read it. Anyway…

That Auburn game last year could have been one for the record books. Imagine if the goal line gift (fumble in the end, AU TD) hadn’t happened. It could have been the only 7-7 tie game in the history of overtime football. After maybe 10 OT with no scores, the refs might have just called the game due to offensive ineptitude.

Keep posting, and forgive my inhospitable initial response.

by memphispete on May 30, 2009 2:27 PM EDT up reply actions