The Record of Wrongs: UCLA Bruins

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 11, 2009 8:00 AM EDT in Tennessee Volunteer Football

Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the UCLA Bruins.

2008: Pants, the game in which they beat us with one arm and had our kicker in denial, among other contemptible transgressions.
1994: UCLA 25, Tennessee 23
1978: UCLA 13, Tennessee 0
1975: UCLA 34, Tennessee 28
1967: UCLA 20, Tennessee 16
2008: UCLA fans and pundits are dealers in stereotypes and merchants of snobbery:

Here’s how the Bruins can start their season off right and send the Vols’ fans back to Rocky Top with nothing but a hangover to show for their mule ride over the prairies.

Pin Tennessee’s tailbones to the goal line and see how they like trying to move across some of the most expensive real estate in the country.

As further evidence of stereotyping, the OCRegister posted the following YouTube in advance of last year's game:

Rick Neuheisel's major NCAA violations while at Colorado.

Bill Walton went to school at UCLA.

Sissy colors.

For home football games -- football! -- they employ a sideline juggler. A JUGGLER!

The Bruins play in the Pac-10.

In 2004, a UCLA research scientist applied for and received a grant to study the effects of boiling kittens. The result? Salivation for four out of five research assistants.

Norm Chow's favorite pasttime is cruising the parking lot at the mall and parking his cherry red Lexus sideways in two contiguous spaces reserved for Expectant Mothers, sitting on the trunk, and laughing at pregnant ladies as they waddle past him on their way to Nordstrom's.

The second-most popular routine of the UCLA cheerleading squad makes liberal use of derogatory and disparaging names for lawyers, pastors, and nuclear engineers.

What have we missed?

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Comments

Your Neuheisel link

goes to Bill Walton instead.

by danmarcel on Sep 11, 2009 8:12 AM EDT reply actions

Fixed.

Thanks.

by David Hooper on Sep 11, 2009 8:24 AM EDT up reply actions

Just glancing ahead but,

I don’t think SB Nation has enough servers to handle the Florida Record of Wrongs……

Tennessee WILL beat Georgia on the way to 9+ wins in '09!!!
Eric Berry For Heisman!!!

by VolBrian on Sep 11, 2009 8:38 AM EDT reply actions

the juggler alone is reason enough

for an arse whoopin’.

...and we shall eat only the red skittles...

by thetennesseethumper on Sep 11, 2009 8:51 AM EDT reply actions

Sissy Colors?

When your wearing Orange, you shoudn’t throw stones. Our cheerleaders are going to be the best part of our visit for you. I hope they are really busy.

Go Bruins!

by BruinAl on Sep 11, 2009 9:03 AM EDT reply actions

Orange is for hunting and prison jumpsuits

Powder blue is what you paint a baby’s bedroom.

Just sayin’

"Florida didnt win their first SEC title until 1991 and now they think they invented football."
-Ron Zook

by rustytanton on Sep 11, 2009 9:09 AM EDT up reply actions

I always wear orange when going bear hunting.

RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!

by Pride of the Southland on Sep 11, 2009 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions

+ 1

Phil,GO VOLS !!!

by bulldurham on Sep 11, 2009 11:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Hey, BruinAl

Just wanted to get on the record here that we’re just having fun. If you’re coming to Knoxville, enjoy your visit — just not the football game!

;-)

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 11, 2009 9:09 AM EDT up reply actions

Hey Joel

Thanks for the hospitality. It’s all good. Can’t come to the game but a game at Neyland would be on my to-do list. I hope they continue this series in the future. You guys have a great tradition and I wish y’all the best (after Saturday of course).

by BruinAl on Sep 11, 2009 3:43 PM EDT up reply actions

Certainly

Glad you stopped by. And if you do make it to Neyland someday, come for a game where you can root for the home team. It’s much more fun that way.

;-)

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 11, 2009 4:30 PM EDT up reply actions

Yeah.

You get to sing Rocky Top to your heart’s content! :-D

by David Hooper on Sep 11, 2009 5:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Oh I don't know about that....

Can y’all bring the Song Girls from across town instead? I do believe we would all prefer them…

;-)

Tennessee WILL beat Georgia on the way to 9+ wins in '09!!!
Eric Berry For Heisman!!!

by VolBrian on Sep 11, 2009 9:18 AM EDT up reply actions

UCLA cheerleaders are pretty, but USC's are prettier

by memphispete on Sep 11, 2009 9:27 AM EDT up reply actions

I'm sorry, am I the only one here who would take a good 'ol southern gal over either one?

I doubt they even know how to cook grits. Add that to the record of wrongs.

RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!

by Pride of the Southland on Sep 11, 2009 9:51 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

I figured it was understood we were arguin' over second place

UT #1

USC or UCLA #2

in this 3 team discussion…

by memphispete on Sep 11, 2009 9:56 AM EDT up reply actions

Absolutely

Just another thing Californians have a inflated sense of pride about when they really don’t hold a candle to a good ’ole Southern girl.

I don’t think we could resist tweaking the guy about USC though……

Tennessee WILL beat Georgia on the way to 9+ wins in '09!!!
Eric Berry For Heisman!!!

by VolBrian on Sep 11, 2009 9:57 AM EDT up reply actions

BS

As a Southern Californian, I seen all kinds of girls…

And our cheerleaders are way prettier than theirs… May not have been always the case, but this group of girls is the best.

Troy will fall.

by Bruins102NCAA on Sep 11, 2009 12:20 PM EDT up reply actions

Lie

To quote a congressman…..

“You Lie!!”

Tennessee WILL beat Georgia on the way to 9+ wins in '09!!!
Eric Berry For Heisman!!!

by VolBrian on Sep 11, 2009 12:24 PM EDT up reply actions

With all due respect to the gals from the state of Silicon Valley,

the girls who win three national championships in a row are the ones who get to do Monday Night Football commercials. I don’t think UT fans will have much of a case of wandering hearts anytime soon.

(Community guidelines, folks …) ;-)

by David Hooper on Sep 11, 2009 10:58 AM EDT up reply actions

Ugh.

I’ve spent a lifetime at SEC games, and to describe the behavior of the hordes in Pasadena last year would require the invocation of Gainesville and many words that would get me straight banned from this fine family establishment. I am walking into this game tomorrow with more hate in my heart than I can ever remember carrying for a non-con game.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Sep 11, 2009 9:18 AM EDT reply actions

Them Cal-i-forn-i-a people sure can yap, can't they?

by memphispete on Sep 11, 2009 9:28 AM EDT up reply actions

I've been raised better.

I know it is my sovereign duty to show proper hospitality to any and all who stop by our tailgate tomorrow, but this is gonna require some gritted teeth.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Sep 11, 2009 9:38 AM EDT up reply actions

bless their hearts...

by David Hooper on Sep 11, 2009 9:40 AM EDT up reply actions

Ignore the Don't Feed the Bears signs - You are allowed to give them "special food"

The sandwiches with Mayo that’s been left in the sun for a couple of days, the chicken you just happened to spill a little package juice on after cooking, or the extra hot BBQ sauce that has been known to remove layers of paint when spilled on the hood of your car – that kind of special food.

You can Feed the Bears with these foods – quite hospitably. And try to hide your great big smile as you do so.

by memphispete on Sep 11, 2009 9:45 AM EDT up reply actions

Does anybody here make signs for games, because I'd like to see a Don't Feed the Bears sign

RIP Steve McNair (1973 - 2009) Retire #9!
Member of the Committee to Keep Keith Bulluck.
Eric Berry for Heisman!!

by Pride of the Southland on Sep 11, 2009 10:00 AM EDT up reply actions

I'll make one.

“BEARS HAVE RABIES
NOT THE FUN KIND”

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Sep 11, 2009 10:01 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs

That's freakin' perfect

Tennessee WILL beat Georgia on the way to 9+ wins in '09!!!
Eric Berry For Heisman!!!

by VolBrian on Sep 11, 2009 10:03 AM EDT up reply actions

the fun kind?

by golfballs03 on Sep 11, 2009 10:09 AM EDT up reply actions

+1 I don't know Holly but she is hilarious...

by memphispete on Sep 11, 2009 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions

She should marry Eric Berry.

Lou Brock loves Lamp.

by birdjam on Sep 11, 2009 10:30 AM EDT up reply actions

She wants . . .

. . . to marry Nick Stephens.

And memphispete, Holly’s a star. EDSBS, Dr. Saturday . . . she’s everywhere. And she’ll be on our podcast Monday night along with Spencer Hall and Clay Travis.

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 11, 2009 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions

I promise not to cuss.

Which may involve me doing the show with a bandanna stuffed in my mouth and communicating through phone-button beeps, but I’ll do my best.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Sep 11, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions

Incidentally

. . . hooper can translate phone beeps on the fly.

Rocky Top Talk

by Joel Hollingsworth on Sep 11, 2009 11:41 AM EDT up reply actions

I can also handle that in the chat if need be.

I’m willing to step up for that.

Eric Berry for sending the guy who wins the Heisman spinning 720 degrees in the air at the podium - or for intercepting it and returning it to where it rightfully belongs

by Chris Pendley on Sep 11, 2009 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions