Attention Lane Kiffin: do not steal these four Tennessee recruits

Yeah, so first Lane Kiffin and Ed Orgeron tried to swipe our mid-term enrollees and haul them off to USC. Then they took some of the coaches they forgot to invite to the party the first time around, including one who had to leave in the middle of the night without telling anyone. Yesterday, they took Joe Barry, a candidate for our open defensive coordinator position and convinced UT commitment Eddrick Loften to take a late visit to Southern Cal. I may have forgotten some. See? This is why you videotape every room in your house, so you have something to show the insurance adjusters.

Well, we here at RTT are putting our collective feet down (all ten of 'em; three guys and one mule) and sending a message to Kiffin and his cronies: There are some Tennessee prospects that you simply cannot steal. THESE ARE OFF-LIMITS and if you waste all of your remaining time before signing day chasing these guys, well, we're going to be really, really mad. Like really.

So here are the guys you're not allowed to try to swipe from us:

Da'Ringa Hootz. 7'3" tight end out of Pahokee, Florida. 5-star Rivals, 7-star Scout. Last known address: somewhere in Pahokee.

Red Boole. 6'2", 260-pound running back who runs a 4.1 40 and has moves like Deion Sanders. 7-star Rivals, "this one goes to 11 stars" Scout. Last seen standing in line somewhere in Haiti.

Taurine Will Kilya. 5'2, 140-pound quarkback who is reportedly able to zig zag between each of Percy Harvin's strides, pinching him on the hamstring just for fun each time. Rivals and Scout currently in bidding war with Glitter Your Graphics.com so they can award him a page load of exceptionally blingee starzes. Last seen in the middle lane of I-95 in South Florida at rush hour. He's there, trust me. Keep looking.

Noah Fents. 6'0", 740-pound sumo wrestler whose stance spands hash mark to hash mark and whose last pre-game shiko exercise actually caused the well-known evil spirit Legion to cry uncle. Owns an actual star. The North One. Last seen wandering around the pit of an active volcano trying to find some proper clothes and salve for a nasty rubber rash. He's down there. You'll be sure to see him if you just . . . get a . . . little bit . . . closer.

These guys are UT commits and are NOT AVAILABLE FOR SWIPING BY USC OR ANY OTHER RENEGADE PROGRAM.

That is all.

Chest bump to abbottzoo for the idea.