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Dooley-isms


On a cold January morning, roughly 10 months ago, the rumor mill started spinning that the University of Tennessee had landed on a coach after the short-lived, mad-scramble that the last guy caused. To put it bluntly, certain life long Vol fans (including yours truly) were looking for a tall building with an easily accessible rooftop after one Derek Dooley, formally of Louisiana Tech, had been announced as our head football coach.

This was not a slight against Dooley himself, and we still have a long way to go to determine if he is capable of taking this program back into "National Powerhouse" status. This was, more or less, frustration at how far our program had fallen, and how we had to live with the following fact: the best we could do was a coach from a small school with a losing record.

However, it didn't take long for Dooley to work his way into our Orange hearts. Indeed, he had me at "Time to dust off your britches." Our first season with Dooley has had a few ups and a lot of downs, but there are four things we can now rely on: Death, Taxes, Perfect Hair, and Hilarious Quotes.

This post (and subsequent thread) is dedicated to the fourth thing on the list. I'll put a few of my favorite quotes below, but please, RTT gang,  pitch in with any glaring oversights I may have missed, or any future Dooley gems.

Star-divide

Dooley on THE HAIR: (June 2, 2010)

You know, it's amazing. Some people are worried about what offense we're gonna run, other people's worrying about how multiple we are on defense. You guys are worried about my hair. . . . I will say this: I've had the same haircut since I was 12 years old. Okay, so do the math. That's 30 years of the exact same haircut. At some point your hair finally concedes and says, "I'm gonna just do what the heck you want me to do, and I'm not gonna fight it anymore." And so everybody has their hair fighting them all the time because they don't train it and do it consistently over time, all right? It's no different than training a team. You do it over, and you do it over, and you do it over, and you don't deviate from the plan, and you bring it across and you shape it down, and then eventually they do it how you want it. And then once my hair said, "Okay, I'll do it how you want it," I haven't changed. Why change?

Dooley on THE 2010 VOLS: May 7, 2010

We've got five new offensive linemen, a new quarterback and a brand new running back. Other than that, we're in great shape.

Dooley on HYGIENE: (September 9, 2010)

We had, I told them, the worst shower discipline of any team I've ever been around. So we talked a little bit about application of soap to the rag and making sure you hit all your body. You know, you can neglect it trying to cut corners, and it shows in how you practice and elsewhere. I'm hoping we show some improvement in that.

Dooley on CALLING IN SICK:  (October 27, 2010)

Are you kidding me?  You shouldn't be sick on a Monday. Nobody gets sick on a Monday. You're not sick.

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Comment 34 comments  |  6 recs  | 

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My favorite is still

“I make mistakes all the time, but if it’s not fourth-and-1 every day when you come to work, then you’re not doing your job right. That’s how I feel — fourth-and-1 for the national championship every day. That’s how it’s got to be.”

by Will Shelton on Nov 19, 2010 12:24 AM EST reply actions  

We (the Royal "We" of course) did not forget

…but I’m not inclined to believe that this was his finest moment. I’m not one of those who was offended (come to think of it, was anyone actually offended?), and I think the historical comparison was appropriate, but it wasn’t his best moment. However, it did get the most air play, so point taken.

You can take the boy out of Tennessee, but you can't take make him stop wearing Orange.

by kingofzachland on Nov 19, 2010 7:54 AM EST up reply actions  

A few favorites, from his second press conference
My brother doesn’t just drive up from Atl and walk in the door. He says "Hey, Derek, I’m coming to Knoxville." Okay, see ya, boom!
I’m not a take the coaches on a canoe trip guy. I see those guys enough. I want to see my family when I’m not coaching.

Dooley on his offensive and defensive philosophy:

I believe in scoring a lot of points and not letting the other team score.

And my personal favorite. . .


Sometimes you can put in a stinky QB, and all of a sudden the RB will break three tackles and the WR will jump up one-handed and eat peanuts off the head of the corner, and it’s the human intangible. Moxie.

by Incipient_Senescence on Nov 19, 2010 8:28 AM EST reply actions  

From the just the other day

 “You’ll have to talk to our trainers about that. Are our trainers allowed to talk to the media?”

[he is informed that the trainers are not allowed to speak to the media]

“Well then you may have a difficult time getting an answer to that question”

I shouldn’t have quoted. I"m paraphasing. But the actual quote was in a recent post.

...just apologize for not thanking me.

by kidbourbon on Nov 19, 2010 8:42 AM EST reply actions  

This

Was the inspiration for this and this. And here’s the exact quote:

Coach Derek Dooley was hesitant when asked whether Gordon’s multiple concussions in a short period of time would affect his status for Saturday.

"That’s something you’ve got to talk to our trainer about," Dooley said. "Do we allow our trainer to talk?"

Dooley was then informed that UT’s trainers don’t speak with the media.

"Yeah, you’re going to have a hard time getting an answer," Dooley said. "Maybe I’ll talk to the trainer."

by kingofzachland on Nov 19, 2010 8:50 AM EST up reply actions  

A couple others come to mind

- a sack of potatoes analogy
- When he was trying to illustrate Tyler’s personality, he used a hypothetical conversation of him informing Tyler Bray that his house was burning down and Tyler responding with “Oh, I think I left some things in there”

There are soooo many more. Is there a way to get transcripts of his press conferences. It would be a lot quicker to read through those than to go back through and watch all the pressers.

...just apologize for not thanking me.

by kidbourbon on Nov 19, 2010 8:55 AM EST reply actions  

If we keep adding to this, it's Hall of Fame material. +1

The COEXIST bumper sticker is ridiculous. How are people supposed to get along when one side is flying planes into tall buildings or wearing sweater vests full of C4 and nails? The faiths are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

by memphispete on Nov 19, 2010 9:01 AM EST reply actions  

Post LSU presser

But there was communication from you to the box that there were 13 at some point?
“No. Not to me. Because my headset is off. Boom, snap. It was chaotic.”

Matt Simms has been sacked now 16 times.
“That’s a lot.”

Gerald (Jones) said he went up to the offensive line and said, `Do you know what your job is?‘
“What’d they say?"

Is there anything new on Cody Pope?
“The longest stinger injury in the history of college football. That’s what’s new. It might be because he doesn’t eat meat. I’m starting to think red meat and chicken is the cure for stingers. That’s my conclusion. We’re out of any other medical options. So I’m going to try to force a steak down him tonight.”

...just apologize for not thanking me.

by kidbourbon on Nov 19, 2010 9:03 AM EST reply actions  

The meat one was wonderful

Some people were getting upset that Dooley was being unfair to Pope, but I really don’t see it. I thought it was hilarious and not at all mean-spirited.

by Incipient_Senescence on Nov 19, 2010 9:19 AM EST up reply actions  

Cory asks for it

When you’re a giant vegetarian O-lineman with the longest hair on the team and questionable work ethic/toughness and generally just kind of goofy…you’re begging to be the target of some good old ribbing.

I hope his injury is not permanent and he gets well soon. Given our player development and recruiting, I don’t think it matters much if he ever actually plays here again.

by phil g on Nov 19, 2010 9:51 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

From the Vandy post-game, on trying to get people to jump
We were gonna freeze ‘em, see maybe if we would get lucky, they would jump offsides. Didn’t work. Usually never does. Everybody knows we’re doing it. But you still gotta do it in case you got one moron over there.

by Incipient_Senescence on Nov 21, 2010 9:17 AM EST reply actions  

With Vandy it didn't work. Too many smart players. With Kentucky coming up.....fish in a barrel comes to mind.

The COEXIST bumper sticker is ridiculous. How are people supposed to get along when one side is flying planes into tall buildings or wearing sweater vests full of C4 and nails? The faiths are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

by memphispete on Nov 21, 2010 5:55 PM EST up reply actions  

From Derek Dooley Show after Vandy Game

regarding Punt return

We try to make it exciting. I think next time we’ll put up a tent because it’s a circus back there.

Ahhhhhh, hey what about my cheering?!! Ahhhhhhhh - Swiperboy

by RockyTopinKY on Nov 21, 2010 12:46 PM EST reply actions   3 recs

awesome

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." A. Bartlett Giamatti

by sddbaker on Nov 22, 2010 11:05 AM EST up reply actions  

From Wes Rucker's Twitter right after the Vandy game:
Dooley on Vols run game at Vandy: “We played good, cause we’re not good. We played really well (for) being not good. It was average.”

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." A. Bartlett Giamatti

by sddbaker on Nov 22, 2010 11:17 AM EST reply actions  

Dooley may be the Yogi Bera of college football. That is priceless.

The COEXIST bumper sticker is ridiculous. How are people supposed to get along when one side is flying planes into tall buildings or wearing sweater vests full of C4 and nails? The faiths are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

by memphispete on Nov 22, 2010 1:46 PM EST up reply actions  

If you listen to his interview

It’s hard to say whether Wes was interpreting that right. It could mean “we played well for being not good” or “we’re really good at being not good.” Either way, it was a fun comment.

by Incipient_Senescence on Nov 22, 2010 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Dooley on punt returns:
We implemented the “no returner” the other night. So we still have that. In case we need it.

Then asked if he’d ever used it before, he said “I’ve never used it. Are you kidding me? I’ve never used it.”

Also loved this one:

He’s where coaches are. When you don’t have the off week, and your opponent does, it’s a tremendous advantage for them. They get to rest. They get two weeks of schematic preparation. They get more reps. So it’s a tremendous advantage for Kentucky, and it puts us at a disadvantage. Now, had we had the off week, and we’re playing a team that doesn’t, I would say this is bad, because we’re hot, it’s getting us out of our rythym, alright. And I don’t know how the players are gonna manage it. I’m just being honest with you, the coaches just shape it, whatever benefits them. The reality is, back to what I concluded originally, you don’t know. It might help Kentucky, it might hurt Kentucky. I don’t know. It all goes back to how they manage it.

by Incipient_Senescence on Nov 22, 2010 6:41 PM EST reply actions  

Dooley on catching 2 throw-away passes by Bray in the Kentucky game:
Just wanted to show them how easy it is to catch. Next I’m going to show them how to catch punts.

"I condone fun things" ~~ Cortland Finnegan

Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me.

by VolBrian on Nov 27, 2010 5:07 PM EST reply actions  

Dooley actually looked happy after we converted 3 and 2 by running the ball to kill the clock against ka-whacky.

He’s a funny guy.

The COEXIST bumper sticker is ridiculous. How are people supposed to get along when one side is flying planes into tall buildings or wearing sweater vests full of C4 and nails? The faiths are MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

by memphispete on Nov 27, 2010 6:30 PM EST up reply actions  

loved when the PA guy named Dooley the receiver for the throwaway pass.

Crowd went bizerk!!

Pure awesome!

Ahhhhhh, hey what about my cheering?!! Ahhhhhhhh - Swiperboy

by RockyTopinKY on Nov 27, 2010 9:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow that's awesome

Didn’t know that happened

"I condone fun things" ~~ Cortland Finnegan

Hello ladies. Look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me.

by VolBrian on Nov 27, 2010 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Dooley on Going Loco:

Have you figured out the mystery (celebration)?

“To the crazy deal? I never know if they tell me the truth. They say they’re just going crazy, you know, out there. I told them I do that in the office when I watch the film and I see them line up wrong. In October, I spent a whole month doing this (gestures). I may do it when they mess up, and they can do it when they do well; then we’re even. I don’t know. If that brings them juice, then I’m all for it. I guess it’s kind of like, what was it, Nuke LaLoosh, when he was wearing the ladies’ undergarment?”

by kingofzachland on Nov 27, 2010 10:51 PM EST reply actions  

and from today:
Moore caught passes of 49 and 48 yards on the next two drives, as the Vols exploited a Kentucky secondary that came into Saturday’s game ranked second in the SEC on pass defense.

“The guy was going loco on everybody,” Dooley said, referencing the team’s recent celebration gesture that was started by Moore.

by kingofzachland on Nov 28, 2010 1:26 AM EST up reply actions  

I love most about Derek D is..

I love most about Derek D is he hasn’t mastered the art of coach speak. He says things that are off wall, yet direct to the point. After years of hearing the same coach speak by his predecessors it has been refreshing to listen to the post game pressers and the Vol calls show to here him talk. My contribution goes back to the preseason camp. He stated after a practice. Our team was distracted today at practice for two reasons: One they are nervous because classes start Monday. and the other is natural because girls have returned to the university. I can’t ever see Coach Fulmer admitting those two points. He would have given us some coach speak about the team wasn’t focused today.

by jmkiii58 on Nov 29, 2010 9:41 AM EST reply actions  

More Dooley quotes!

Dooley-quoted article from the Beacon

Written by Matt Dixon-Wes Rucker’s intern.

Ahhhhhh, hey what about my cheering?!! Ahhhhhhhh - Swiperboy

by RockyTopinKY on Nov 30, 2010 6:44 PM EST reply actions  

Hmm

I’ve seen a number of articles about Dooley’s quotes in the past couple of days…and I have to say I’m somewhere between flattered and mildly irritated. Let it be noted that RTT and my own personal side-project, dooleyisms (shameless plug), were the first (that I know of) to devote significant time and energy to this phenomenon.

Just sayin’…

by kingofzachland on Dec 1, 2010 9:35 AM EST up reply actions  

in your honor

Last night I tweeted the link to this thread to Matt Dixon to show off your/dooley’s/our masterpiece :-)

Ahhhhhh, hey what about my cheering?!! Ahhhhhhhh - Swiperboy

by RockyTopinKY on Dec 1, 2010 8:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Scott Wolf's quote of UT B-ball coach

I think many of you will get a kick out of a quote by Coach Pearl that Wolf posted on a USC blog and the subsequent comments by USC fans on that topic. Here’s the link:

http://www.insidesocal.com/usc/archives/2010/11/i-miss-lane-kif.html

by Angeleno on Dec 1, 2010 9:39 PM EST reply actions  

Dooley: “Obviously Luke didn’t think we were going to a bowl game. Sounds like he met me and said, ‘No way we’re going to a bowl.’”

http://twitter.com/wesruckerCTFP/status/15090156319019008

by Joel Hollingsworth on Dec 16, 2010 6:20 AM EST reply actions  

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