Chest bump to Will for finding and posting the actual audio from the interview, but this bit absolutely must be rescued from the internet's blind spot and brought into the great light so the Google bots can harvest it for posterity. Huge, running chest bump to Clay Travis and 3 Hour Lunch for eliciting an impromptu gem a thousand times better than anything ever contrived for effect by Lane Kiffin:
Clay Travis: How often do you get your haircut to look exactly like that all the time?
Derek Dooley: You know, it's amazing. Some people are worried about what offense we're gonna run, other people's worrying about how multiple we are on defense. You guys are worried about my hair. . . . I will say this: I've had the same haircut since I was 12 years old. Okay, so do the math. That's 30 years of the exact same haircut. At some point your hair finally concedes and says, "I'm gonna just do what the heck you want me to do, and I'm not gonna fight it anymore." And so everybody has their hair fighting them all the time because they don't train it and do it consistently over time, all right? It's no different than training a team. You do it over, and you do it over, and you do it over, and you don't deviate from the plan, and you bring it across and you shape it down, and then eventually they do it how you want it. And then once my hair said, "Okay, I'll do it how you want it," I haven't changed. Why change?
Blaine BishopBrent Dougherty: So that's the Barbara influence because she helped you get that haircut at 12, right?
Dooley: Yeah, but she changes her hair every day and can't understand why it doesn't cooperate. Well, if I changed offenses every day, we wouldn't be good at anything.
Why change, indeed, if Tennessee can field a team as perfect as the Great Unchangeable Pelt of Precious? If the man can accomplish that with a fine tooth comb, just think what he can do with a whistle. And to you, unkempt bloggers of the 'sphere, try again. Do it over. And do it over, and do it over.
Don't deviate from the plan.
Bring it across.
Shape it down.