Why do I resort to stereotypes about Gator fans? Oh yeah, because said stereotypes are entirely accurate.

This Saturday in Gainesville the Vols begin a winning streak,
Pearl resumes ownage of Coach D, and that horrible widow's peak

The Gators home court is no advantage. More like a Volunteer dance floor
Half the gator fans are newbies, recent transplants from Jersey Shore.

This Gator squad, while ranked, is not particularly good.
Expect them to snap with minor pressure, much like balsa wood

Like the hawks in the student section, the Gators' ranking is quite faux
Their best scoring weapon -- no seriously -- is a Kenny Boynton free throw

Scotty will be healthy, which for the gators will be tragic
Billy, you probably should have taken that job with the magic

Expect the Vols to catch fire, much like your BBQ smoker
Status Quo for the gators, as they retreat to mediocre

Gator fans are searching, as the Vols jump on the bus bound for Knox
Searching for a mirror and hair gel, that is, to spike back up those locks.

Go Vols