Announcing the Inaugural Craig James Annual Award for Sports Analysis Excellence

Do you like Phil Collins? I've been a big Genesis fan ever since the release of their 1980 album, Duke. Before that, I really didn't understand any of their work. Too artsy, too intellectual. It was on Duke where Phil Collins' presence became more apparent. I think Invisible Touch was the group's undisputed masterpiece. It's an epic meditation on intangibility.

Starting this week, RTT presents THE MOST IMPORTANT SPORT JOURNALISM AWARD ON THE INTERNET IN THE WORLD EVER. The Craig James Memorial Trophy will annually recognize the outstanding college football analyst whose performance best exhibits a relentless pursuit of analyzing stuff you know nothing about, a tireless willingness to write troll headlines for clicks, and a selfless effort to meet a word count, regardless of the cost to the English language. Winners epitomize great mediocrity combined with diligence and perseverance, and will probably be Notre Dame fans. 

Each week, we'll present several candidates for nomination; at the end of the year, the overall winner will receive a bronzed hacksaw, 5 plastic bags, and roll of Duck tape, and a framed assurance that nothing at all, really, happened to speak of involving any five particular people being dead at SMU in 1985. Runner-up prizes include complimentary show-cause penalties, no all-expense paid visits anywhere for the next four years, and 55 non-scholarships.

After the break, this week's nominees:

 

PAUL MYERBERG, PRE-SNAP READ
BEATING A DEAD HORSE CATEGORY

This week, Myerberg expended a good 700 words in a Kanye-esque tirade against.... pretty much nobody.

And I hope that, with a 35-21 win over the Bulldogs in Atlanta, we can put to bed the idea that Boise State can’t play with — and beat, I promise you — every team in the country. Those that doubted to this point, especially those in the SEC, should no longer have a leg to stand on when belittling Boise’s standing among the upper slice of the country.

Uhhh.... yeah. Persecution complex much? It's 2011, man. The Broncos were the #5 preseason team this year. Chillax.

 

CHRIS LOW, ESPN
#NOHOMER CATEGORY
You know what'd be fun? Let's compare two high-flying SEC offenses from last week, Tennessee and Arkansas. Stats-wise. 
Tyler Wilson: 18/24 260yds 2TD 0INT 
Tyler Bray 17/24 293yds 3TD 0INT 
Arkansas Total Rushing: 102yds 2TD 
Tennessee Total Rushing: 128yds 2TD
Here's everybody's favorite ESPN vol homer Chris Low on Arkansas' 51-7 whipping of Missouri State:

Hogs look like a top 10 team

...the Hogs served noticed in their 51-7 season-opening victory over Missouri State that they can score just about any way you want them to.

.... and on our game?

Vols' ground game still lacking

It's only one game, but it looks like Tennessee will have to lean heavily on its passing game again this season... if the Vols are going to make a move in the East this season, they've got to get better at running the football.

Missouri St. and Montana ranked 33rd and 44th in the FCS in rushing defense last year, if you're curious.
(Thanks to Caban for finding this one)

 

BILL KOCH, CINCINNATI ENQUIRER
#WHOAHOMER CATEGORY

OPTIMISM.  

Down in Knoxville, the Vols rolled to a 42-16 victory over Montana before 94,661 fans after a 93-minute rain delay, displaying disturbing sloppiness with six fumbles. They recovered five of those, with the sixth going harmlessly out of bounds.

On two other occasions, Tennessee quarterback Tyler Bray had a pass picked off only to have it nullified by an interference penalty. That’s eight potential turnovers that didn’t happen.

"Didn't" being the key word here, big guy.

 

LATE BREAKING DARKHORSE!!!!
HOWARD HUGHES CATEGORY
OPTIMISM, PART II.

WHO'S GOT TWO THUMBS AND A SLIPPING GRASP ON REALITY? THIS GUY.

 

That's it for this week (look, it's Labor Day). So- who's takes the prize this week? 

Write in candidates are encouraged. Comments section: go.

----
There's a lot of bad writing out there, kids. We need your help! (Seriously, I have no idea how John Adams didn't make this list) See something that should be on next week's list? Send it on over, yall.

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