Everything is fine, nothing is ruined: Tennessee 55 Troy 48

Paul Abell-US PRESSWIRE

The Tennessee Volunteers rolled up 718 yards of offense, behind a school record 530 passing from Tyler Bray, and held on to beat Troy 55-48 Saturday at Neyland Stadium.

Tennessee did allow 48 points and 722 yards against Troy. But it's okay, because Troy has a really good offense. What? They only put up 14 on North Texas? Sorry about that.

Those 722 yards were the most given up by a Tennessee defense. Ever. But that's misleading, because there were new clock rules in 2008 that were designed to extend games. What? They were designed to shorten games? My apologies.

But it's okay, because Tennessee still has a win over North Carolina State, and they are a VERY GOOD FOOTBALL TEAM that beat Florida State and stuff. So we know what we can do when we come to play. What? NC State just lost 33-6 at home to Virginia? And Virginia had lost six consecutive games, the last three to Duke, Maryland, and Wake Forest? How was I supposed to know that? Who watches the ACC?

But it's okay, because all of the teams that beat Tennessee this year have been really good. The Vols can beat anybody who is average or bad. What? Mississippi State, who beat UT 41-31, just lost 38-13 at home to Texas A&M? Give me a break, who watches a game with hashtags in the end zones?

But it's okay, because the Vols set a school record with 718 yards of offense, behind a record 530 yards passing from Tyler Bray, 219 receiving from Cordarrelle Patterson, and 181 (and three touchdowns) receiving from Justin Hunter. And all of those guys are juniors, so we get them for one more year. What? Juniors can declare for the NFL Draft? I obviously need to do a little more research.

At least Marlin Lane is a sophomore. He ran for 132 yards and 2 touchdowns. That's the third-most anybody has gained on the ground against Troy all season. Too bad we don't have Alonzo Harris at Tennessee. He went for 137. We'd be unstoppable.

Next test for Tennessee is Friday night against Kennesaw State at Thompson-Boling Arena. Until then, the biggest question is whether the coaching change will come after the season or during it. Go Vols.

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