Today In People Who Are Not Named Jon Gruden

Look at him sittin there waitin for us, just like a spider

If you can't be with the one you love, love the one with a manageable buyout. A look at the Tennessee candidates, in cold hard stats- selfish and shrewd.

While some of our friends at the other, other, other sites are still still sleeping with a bottle of Night Train on the bench outside the station to Hearbreak Junction and Bitterdisappointment Holler, we thought it might be prudent to look at some numbers and things for those gentle coachfolk less inclined to backstab us for a lumber mill and Frank's money.

(To give an idea of the situation each coach inherited, the year previous to their arrival is included in grey)

Butch Davis

Year Team Wins Losses Win % Scoring Off. Rank Scoring Def. Rank Rivals Rank
94 Miami 10 2 0.83


95 Miami 8 3 0.73


96 Miami 9 3 0.75


97 Miami 5 6 0.45


98 Miami 9 3 0.75


99 Miami 9 4 0.69 14 12
00 Miami 11 1 0.92 2 5








06 UNC 3 9 0.25 99 104 30
07 UNC 4 8 0.33 97 43 17
08 UNC 8 5 0.62 43 32 32
09 UNC 8 5 0.62 83 13 9
10 UNC 8 5 0.62 75 44 29

Comments: So as it turns out, it's hard to find stats from the barren moonscape that was the olden-times "Big East" of yesteryear. Suffice to say that the big white space up in the corner represents "really freaking good."

Yes, but will he keep Chaney? Certainly possible. He's apparently currently getting paid to hang out with Greg Schaino, so it's not like he has a ready-made staff he's obligated to. On the other hand, he's getting paid to hang out with Greg Schiano, so he can't be all that fond of offense in general.

Projected Brad Freakout Factor: Would have to be pretty low. Davis loves him some brutal defenses, bland offenses and can recruit like nobody's business.

Mike Gundy

Year Team Wins Losses Win % Scoring Off. Rank Scoring Def. Rank Rivals Rank
04 OK St. 7 5 0.58 17 58 62
05 OK St. 4 7 0.36 97 97 42
06 OK St. 7 6 0.54 7 82 22
07 OK St. 7 6 0.54 22 79 30
08 OK St. 9 4 0.69 9 77 26
09 OK St. 9 4 0.69 56 32 36
10 OK St. 11 2 0.85 3 61 31
11 OK St. 12 1 0.92 2 63 28
12 OK St. 7 5 0.58 4 74 32


Comments: Woooooo buddy this'd be fun. ALL THE POINTS, and a consistent, if unspectacular, recruiter. Also, ALL THE POINTS. One concern (other than his total disinterest in all types of defense) is that his interviewing may just all be part of elaborate liaison dangereuse to ensnare that beguiling minx T. Boone Pickens into giving him boatloads more money.

Yes, but will he keep Chaney? Not likely. One too many cats in the bathtub, methinks. In any case, the DC hire is going to be important here.

Projected Brad Freakout Factor: On a scale of apoplexy to conniption, Lee Corso.

Larry Fedora

Year Team Wins Losses Win % Scoring Off. Rank Scoring Def. Rank Rivals Rank
07 S. Miss 7 6 0.54 58 41 55
08 S. Miss 7 6 0.54 31 54 37
09 S. Miss 7 6 0.54 18 61 53
10 S. Miss 8 5 0.62 15 81 53
11 S. Miss 12 2 0.86 14 25 85








11 UNC 8 4 0.67 56 55 16
12 UNC 8 4 0.67 11 52 44


Comments: Well heelllllo, Inevitably-Mentioned-Up-And-Comer-Of-The-Month.

Yes, but will he keep Chaney? Tough to say- he's certainly an offensive guru in his own right, but he may be inclined to hold on to more of the staff, as he's, well, an up-and-comer.

Projected Brad Freakout Factor: Fedora may well be a steal right now, but if we're back to the fallback fallback guy again this time around, it's going to be tough on everybody. So.... yes.

Charlie Strong

Year Team Wins Losses Win % Scoring Off. Rank Scoring Def. Rank Rivals Rank
09 Louisville 4 8 0.33 111 65 76
10 Louisville 7 6 0.54 63 18 48
11 Louisville 7 6 0.54 98 17 29
12 Louisville 10 2 0.83 47 37 42


Comments: Looks to be the odds-on guy right now, and probably the most popular, which isn't terribly shocking considering the tire fire that was last year's defense.

Yes, but will he keep Chaney? Lord, I hope so.

Projected Brad Freakout Factor: Solid D, Solid Recruiting, Smashmouth Football- not much to complain about, here, I'd think.

Others not considered, with explanation:

Dave Dorean HE’S JUST WINNING WITH JERRY KILL’S GUYS PAAAAWWWWLL ...Greg Roman has a pointy head....Sonny Dykes because LA Tech...Kirby Smart/Jimbo Fisher because Nick Saban.... Al Golden looks like weird Muschamp-Dooley lovechild. And yes, you’re welcome for the mental image...Art Briles Love the guy, but he's John Adams pick, so completely unacceptable. Also this.


So what yall think?

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