RTT Locks & Keys Week 14: Welp.

AAAAAAH WHAT IS THIS AND WHY IS IT IN THE PHOTO EDITOR MAKE IT STOP - Kevin Jairaj-USA TODAY Sports

Hey look it's football and stuff and wow there are a lot of fun games this weekend and Tennessee plays Kentucky and eh whatever----

The best prat about Thanksgiving is the 85 games on Friday.

YOUR KEYS FOR TOMORROW

  • There are a lot of great games on. Also, Tennessee plays Kentucky. (This is a warning. Don't say you weren't warned.)

OH HEY LAST WEEK'S PICKS WENT LIKE EVERY OTHER WEEK

Chris: 3-3 Last Week, 43-32-3 Overall

  • Miss State @ Arkansas (+1.5) - oh, that awkward feeling when the under-3-point-dog goes to OT. It could be worse, though; you could take a 10+-point favorite into OT.
  • Cincinnati @ Houston (-3) - Tommy Tuberville lives to destroy dreams. The sooner you realize this, the better your life will be.
  • Georgia Southern (+28) @ Florida - I CAN'T BELIEVE WILL MUSCHAMP WILL COACH INTO 2014 THIS IS THE BEST SEASON EVER
  • Utah @ Washington State (-1) - Somehow, the Dread Pirate is 6-5. How'd that happen? Oh, right, they beat USC. Thanks, Lane!
  • Arizona State @ UCLA (+2.5) - UCLA is my kyrptonite.
  • Southern Cal @ Colorado (+22.5) - Who wants a backdoor cover? Chris wants a backdoor cover. Yeah.

KidB: 2-4 Last Week, 37-40-1 Overall

  • Illinois-7 over PURDUE: Purdue's been flatlining all season. Illinois still sucks at football enough to not take advantage of it. 0-1.
  • Bowling Green-24 over EASTERN MICHIGAN: You back that Clawfense, son. 1-1.
  • Vanderbilt+3 over TENNESSEE: HEY GUYS I FOUND THE CULPRIT I KNOW WHY WE LOST LAST WEEK. 2-1
  • Boise State-5.5 over SAN DIEGO STATE: As it turned out, kidb was missing a lot with this one, most notably, um, the winner. Well done. 2-2.
  • UMASS+12.5 over Central Michigan: Nobody knows about UMass football, nobody cares about UMass football, and CMU still beat them by 37. Incidentally, I think CMU is undefeated when someone puts them in L&K somewhere, a fact that I'm leaving until as late as possible in order to consolidate my advantage. 2-3.
  • NORTH TEXAS-7.5 OVER Texas-San Antonio: I know nothing about these teams, and based on UTSA's 21-13 win, neither did kidb. 2-4.

I_S: 3-3 Last Week, 36-40-2

  • Texas A&M/LSU over 71. STOP TAKING OVER/UNDERS. THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. We care, but we really care when you're still under .500. We're radio free wasteland, and we're here for you.
  • Iowa State -5 over Kansas. Kansas is so bad at football. They are not so bad that WVU can't lose to them, but that doesn't matter here. I figured this was a good time to remind everyone that kid missed a bet against Kansas.
  • East Carolina -6.5 over NC State. Solid pick. Yeah, no snark. Although I don't understand why Ruffin McNeil - who in theory coaches defense - can't field one, that doesn't affect the quality of this pick.
  • Louisiana Tech +3.5 over Tulsa. Tulsa is done this year. They're just oh wait they beat Dooley U by 10 yeah never mind.
  • Virginia +20 over Miami. Backdoor covering for the backing into a .500 record for the week, apparently.
  • Coastal Carolina +34.5 over South Carolina. Alex Ross averaged 6.7 yards per attempt in this game. Tennessee is averaging 5.5 yards per pass attempt on the season. SIGN ALEX ROSS, because hooooooo boy the rest of Coastal Carolina is awful.

AND THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

Chris Has No Idea What He's Doing And Finished His Picks Right Before This Went Live

South Florida @ UCF (-26.5) - South Florida is still terrible at the game of football, and this is a one-way rivalry in UCF's favor. (Seriously, UCF has a massive hate complex toward South Florida and it doesn't go both ways.

East Carolina @ Marshall (-3) - both kid and I_S like ECU in this game, and if I've learned anything this year, it's that they're terrible at picking games, so Marshall it is.

Wake Forest @ Vanderbilt (-13.5) - Wake Forest is just terrible at offense. I'd play the under here too if it wasn't barely above 40.

Ohio State (-16) @ Michigan - I think I'd take this line up to three TDs. I'm pretty sure Ohio State can top 35 in this game and I have no clue how Michigan scores at all.

FSU @ Florida OVER 44.5 - 45-0 is a cover. Do you think that's likely? I do.

Kansas State (-17.5) @ Kansas - YEAH TILTING AT CHARLIE WEIS WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT THAT I_S.

KidB's "Free Money" Picks That Would Be Better If EVERY Line hadn't Moved On Him

Ohio State-16 over MICHIGAN: Ohio State is good at football.  Michigan is bad at football.  Urban Meyer LOVES running up the score.  Brady Hoke HATES headsets.

Baylor-11.5 over TEXAS CHRISTIAN:  Hey, Vegas: overreact much?  Baylor has been bludgeoning teams all season, and TCU has been somewhere between mediocre and bad.  What would this spread be if Baylor had gotten worked over so badly by Oklahoma State?  Like -22.5?  Baylor will bounce back and score a kajillion points, and TCU can't score to save themselves.  Do the math.

Bowling Green-3.5 over BUFFALO: The Fighting Dave Clawson's have been on an absolute tear as of late.  I believe them to be the best team in the MAC.  Buffalo is a good team, and I expect this to be a competitive game, but I do think the Falcons will win, and if they win, they'll probably cover the spread.

Jameis "innocent until proven guilty" Winston-27.5 over THE FIGHTING FUTURE MUSCHAMPIONSHIPS: Florida is a festering cesspool of putridity in all respects.  Florida State has been mercilessly bludgeoning teams all year.  And if Georgia Southern just rolled into Gainesville and came away with the W, then forgive me for questioning the environmental hostility of this "swamp" of which they speak.  And now bear with me as I slightly digress:  (1) The old conventional wisdom goes "offensive sells tickets; defense wins championships".  (2) If you ever hear someone make the part 1 statement in seriousness, look around to see if anyone is watching, and if not, then kindly proceed mercilessly rain lefts and rights upon his face.

Toledo-11over AKRON: Terry Bowden just got a two-year contract extension.  He's done coaching for the year and will be turning his attention to eating lots and lots of food.

North Texas-4.5 @ DOGTRASH TULSA:  This line is almost too fishy to take, but since my other picks moved approximately 19 combined points, I'll go ahead and fall into what could very well be a trap.  Or maybe it's just Free Money.

I_S's "Milos Raonic Quality" Picks

  • Eastern Michigan +17.5 over Central Michigan. Yeah, EMU is bad. But CMU should not be favored by three scores against any FBS team. EMU is arguably an FBS team.
  • Arkansas +26 over LSU. Arkansas has been keeping it more competitive the last three weeks, and I don't see LSU firing on all cylinders two weeks in a row after the inconsistency they've shown all season. The Hogs will still lose by three scores, but I think they keep it inside 25.
  • Kansas State -17.5 over Kansas. Even when KSU isn't amazing, they always destroy Kansas. And Kansas is quite destroyable.
  • North Texas -4.5 over Tulsa. The only way this line makes sense is if you figure UNT has a hangover after blowing the division last week. I don't think they do. Tulsa is enough of a CUSA name to get their best game.
  • Georgia State +7.5 over South Alabama. GSU has been getting closer and closer every week. This is their last chance to finally get a win. Not sure if they will, but they'll be there to the end.
  • UNC -6 over Duke. I don't have numbers backing this up, but I feel like unranked teams as favorites over ranked teams typically fare pretty well.
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