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Around SBN: Jim Irsay: We Can Make It Work With Peyton Manning

By popular request, Rocky Top Talk attempts to go negative (sorry!)

Saturday, October 6, 2007. With blowout losses to both Florida and Cal still fresh in the minds of Tennessee Volunteer fans, local columnist John Pennington publishes an article quoting nine anonymous former Tennessee players that have some pretty serious concerns about the current state of the program. Coach Fulmer calls it a cheap shot and the team goes out and thumps the Bulldogs 35-14.

Saturday, October 27, 2007. Steve Spurrier's coming to town, and local artist Dan Proctor publishes a cartoon depicting the Grim Reaper at coach Fulmer's door with the OBC ringing the bell. Meanwhile, ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit opines on a national broadcast that Tennessee's players are more concerned about the NFL than their college team. Coach Fulmer and the players are not amused. Tennessee dominates the Gamecocks in the first half and holds on for an impressive 27-24 overtime victory.

Friday, November 2, 2007. It's Homecoming, and Knoxville talk radio host Jimmy Hyams publishes a column on Scout.com's Inside Tennessee web site criticizing the team for requiring media criticism to get up for games. The following day, Tennessee waxes Louisiana-Lafayette 59-7.

Monday - Saturday, November 5 - November 10, 2007. An entire nation engages in week-long all-McFadden-all-the-time idol worship. The players, sick and tired of hearing about it, put on the defensive performance of their collective careers and humiliate the Hogs 34-13. "I think we play our best when everyone counts us out," says linebacker Ryan Karl. Fellow linebacker Jerod Mayo does him one better:

Every time you guys talk bad about us, we play good, so keep talking bad.'

Um, okay, Jerod. Really? Look, anyone who's read Rocky Top Talk for any amount of time knows that I tend more toward optimism than the pessimism. I may point out errors and voice frustrations, but outright Katy-bar-the-door criticism comes hard for me. But all fans need to pull their own weight, and so I will GIVE MY ALL FOR TENNESSEE TODAY, even if it means I have to go negative. What about the rest of you? I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Ghost of Neyland, yeah, I'm talking to you. Are you willing to GIVE YOUR ALL FOR TENNESSEE TODAY? Fulmer's Belly? Holly? The Power T? Vol Abroad, Voluminous, Vol Nation, Loser with Socks, are you with me? Rocky Top Talk writers and readers? What do you got?

Deep breath. Sigh. Tennessee Volunteer football players and coaches, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it'll hurt you.

Okay, so we're 7-3 with only Vanderbilt and Kentucky, but let me remind you that two years ago, during the Season of Which We Do Not Speak, the Commodores came to Neyland,  and, well, it was the end of the world as we knew it:

First loss to Vandy in 22 years. First losing season in 17 years. First year without a bowl game in 16 years. Tennessee wasn’t going to the Rose Bowl. Or a BCS Bowl. Or the Citrus, Outback, Music City, or Independence Bowls.

The Tennessee Volunteers were not going to the Alamo.

(Sorry to bring that up, guys!) The after-effects were not good, with players behaving badly, including spitting on (not really!) and cussing at cameramen. (Oh! Did that hurt? I'm sorry!)

That entire season was U-G-L-Y:

(I didn't mean it! Jerod Mayo told me to!)

And what about this year? Sure you may be in the driver's seat for the SEC East (go Vols!), but y'all went out to Cal and a bunch of nekkid, tree-huggin' hippies scored waaay too tenny muchdowns against you. (You were close!). And don't forget the dishumiliarrassment at Florida just two weeks later. (But they have Tim Tebow, and they're doing it to most everybody else, too!) And the Alabama blowout that featured a few of my not favorite things? It was like every guy on our defensive squad had a concussion. How many fingers am I holding up? "Wednesday!" they all shout in unison. (Just kidding!)

So what if you beat Southern Miss and Arkansas State and Louisiana-Lafayette? (At least you weren't upset, like Michigan or Southern Cal!) Having good games against Georgia and Arkansas just confirms that you are bi-polar and that you can play well during your manic phase. (Get well soon!) Tell me why fans shouldn't expect a relapse into a depressive state against Vandy this week or Kentucky next? (Your meds have kicked in, and you'll be ready!)

Think you're good? Think you're worthy of the SEC Championship Game? Prove it. I'll believe it when I see it. (You can do it!)

Okay rant over. Um, if you couldn't tell, that was a bit uncomfortable for me. Love ya, guys! I think you're great! You can beat both Vandy and Kentucky, just like you usually do.

But please just motivate yourselves, because I really suck at it.

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Dude
...that was vaguely......frightening!

Hope it works :)

"Gentlemen, it is better to have died as a small boy than to fumble this football." John Heisman

by Joseph Stanley on Nov 14, 2007 9:18 AM EST reply actions  

Perverse psychology
If it takes negative vibes to get a win then so be it.  Do whatever it takes.
Vinnie Testaverde is always remembered for Tennessee kicking his ass.

by RevOrange on Nov 14, 2007 9:53 AM EST reply actions  

The Dark Side
Be very careful young Joel Vollwalker,the power of the dark side is very strong. And there is peace and tranquility in the light. Unless its a train.
Phil,GO VOLS !!!

by bulldurham on Nov 14, 2007 10:05 AM EST reply actions  

The Vols SUCK
Um, this is a great idea, Joel.
I'm going to go on my "Vols suck" rant later on today. First of all, I need to write a glowing piece about our future.
LOL
Then, I'll put on my mean britches.

by ghostofneyland on Nov 14, 2007 10:34 AM EST reply actions  

Okay then...
The Vols do suck!

The offense can't keep momentum in the second half. Erik Ainge couldn't throw a ten yard pass into a barn door. Our recievers can't catch a cold walking around in bare feet on wet ground in February. And forget run blocking. Arian Foster should be leading the NCAA in yards but then it doesn't help that he's got no vision either. Play calling? What play calling? Our play calling is so bad that defenses are taking naps in the second half and still keeping us out of the end zone (insert tired wet paper bag joke here).

The defense couldn't stop an 80 year old woman with a walker. Running backs could be riding skate boards on the turf and still gain 100+. Our defensive line is so weak, they're what paper towels compare themselves to when doing breakage demonstrations in commercials. Our linebackers are so slow that sometimes it's hard to tell if they're even awake during the game. And forget about defending the pass. The linebackers are so bad at reading the quarterback that they'll have to invent a new category of dyslexia just for them. And if a reciever is taller than 5 foot nothing, we can forget about our corners or safeties covering them, and God forbid they're faster than a ten year old on Ritalin. I'm suprised they don't live in an ICU during the week from getting burned so bad every Saturday.

I'm not even gonna discuss special teams. Talk about your Achille's heel!

Oh, it's gonna be horrible this Saturday. Earl Bennett's gonna break the NCAA record for recieving yards in a single game. Don't be suprised if we have several defenders that need surgery on Monday because of their broken ankles. We're gonna give up soooo many yards rushing trying to handle their passing attack that the stat keeper's gonna get carpal tunnel. It's gonna be an embarrassment I tell ya, we might as well not even show up. This game has let down written all over it! Forget Atlanta. We'll be lucky to make it to Shreveport. Ahhhh, horrible, just horrible. Same old Vols.

How was that? Oh, I can't breathe. God forgive me.

All hail Jim Bob Cooter!

by XRayVol on Nov 14, 2007 1:58 PM EST reply actions  

OMG-suck
Erick Ainge couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat. And when forced out of the pocket it looks like drunkin twister night at the frat house!!
Phil,GO VOLS !!!

by bulldurham on Nov 14, 2007 2:24 PM EST reply actions  

Sadly,
I'm  usually in the pessimist camp to begin with, but given our pattern after crucial wins, I feel this week's dread is legitimate.  

(I'm looking at you, Foster.)

by Holly Anderson on Nov 14, 2007 4:00 PM EST reply actions  

WHAT IF ?
What if Tennessee does beat Vandy Saturday and then beat the Wild Cats. Then go on to Atlanta to play in the SEC Championship game, most likely against LSU, and beat LSU which was #1 team in the Nation. Would that make Tennessee #1?  Well I think It would, but what do I know Im just an OLD HOUND DAWG.
Sounds great "IF" they can do it.  Tough row to hoe BUT it's all up to the Team.  IF IF'S AND BUT'S WERE CANDY AND NUTS WE ALL WOULD HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS.    "Big Orange National Champs". WHAT IF?
Go Vols BEAT VANDY!!!
OLD SMOKEY

by old smokey on Nov 14, 2007 4:18 PM EST reply actions  

Well...
at least we're already bowl eligible, so that these upcoming loses won't affect our postseason too much.  I mean the Music City Bowl is pretty respectable, or even better, the AutoZone Liberty Bowl, YES!

Oh yeah, the Vols just pounded the Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils 101-44... that is a 67 point beatdown, with Chris Lofton still sleep walking through games (only 5 points)!

Proud member of the EBMCC (Eric Berry Man Crush Club) and Josh McNeil's Videographer

by Volorado on Nov 14, 2007 10:52 PM EST reply actions  

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