By popular request, Rocky Top Talk attempts to go negative (sorry!)
by Joel on Nov 14, 2007 7:49 AM EST
in Tennessee Volunteer Football
9 comments
Saturday, October 6, 2007. With blowout losses to both Florida and Cal still fresh in the minds of Tennessee Volunteer fans, local columnist John Pennington publishes an article quoting nine anonymous former Tennessee players that have some pretty serious concerns about the current state of the program. Coach Fulmer calls it a cheap shot and the team goes out and thumps the Bulldogs 35-14.
Saturday, October 27, 2007. Steve Spurrier's coming to town, and local artist Dan Proctor publishes a cartoon depicting the Grim Reaper at coach Fulmer's door with the OBC ringing the bell. Meanwhile, ESPN analyst Kirk Herbstreit opines on a national broadcast that Tennessee's players are more concerned about the NFL than their college team. Coach Fulmer and the players are not amused. Tennessee dominates the Gamecocks in the first half and holds on for an impressive 27-24 overtime victory.
Friday, November 2, 2007. It's Homecoming, and Knoxville talk radio host Jimmy Hyams publishes a column on Scout.com's Inside Tennessee web site criticizing the team for requiring media criticism to get up for games. The following day, Tennessee waxes Louisiana-Lafayette 59-7.
Monday - Saturday, November 5 - November 10, 2007. An entire nation engages in week-long all-McFadden-all-the-time idol worship. The players, sick and tired of hearing about it, put on the defensive performance of their collective careers and humiliate the Hogs 34-13. "I think we play our best when everyone counts us out," says linebacker Ryan Karl. Fellow linebacker Jerod Mayo does him one better:
Um, okay, Jerod. Really? Look, anyone who's read Rocky Top Talk for any amount of time knows that I tend more toward optimism than the pessimism. I may point out errors and voice frustrations, but outright Katy-bar-the-door criticism comes hard for me. But all fans need to pull their own weight, and so I will GIVE MY ALL FOR TENNESSEE TODAY, even if it means I have to go negative. What about the rest of you? I'm throwing down the gauntlet. Ghost of Neyland, yeah, I'm talking to you. Are you willing to GIVE YOUR ALL FOR TENNESSEE TODAY? Fulmer's Belly? Holly? The Power T? Vol Abroad, Voluminous, Vol Nation, Loser with Socks, are you with me? Rocky Top Talk writers and readers? What do you got?
Deep breath. Sigh. Tennessee Volunteer football players and coaches, this is going to hurt me a lot more than it'll hurt you.
First loss to Vandy in 22 years. First losing season in 17 years. First year without a bowl game in 16 years. Tennessee wasn’t going to the Rose Bowl. Or a BCS Bowl. Or the Citrus, Outback, Music City, or Independence Bowls.
The Tennessee Volunteers were not going to the Alamo.
That entire season was U-G-L-Y:
- August, 2005: No. 3 Vols indulge in pre-season fantasies of playing in the Rose Bowl for the National Championship.
- September 3, 2005: Vols come down to earth in unimpressive 17-10 win over UAB.
- September 17, 2005: Special teams debacle costs No. 4 Vols a 16-7 loss to No. 6 archrival Florida.
- September 26, 2005: No. 11 Tennessee shocks No. 3 LSU with 30-27 come-from-way-behind Rally in the Valley giving Vol fans the sole highlight of a troubled season.
- October 1, 2005: No. 10 Vols produce efficient but boring 27-10 win over Ole Miss.
- October 8, 2005: No. 8 Vols lose 27-14 to No. 5 Georgia in a penalty-plagued field position nightmare.
- October 22, 2005: Two fumbles inside the ten and a muffed punt at midfield costs the No. 17 Vols a 6-3 loss to No. 5 Alabama.
- October 29, 2005: No. 23 Vols lose 16-15 to Steve Spurrier due primarily to a fumble within a blade of fescue at the goal line.
- November 5, 2005: Two ships pass in the night as the staggering Tennessee program is soundly defeated by a revitalized Notre Dame program hitting its stride.
- November 12, 2005: The unranked Volunteers need another game-saving effort by Rick Clausen in relief of Erik Ainge to beat unranked Memphis 20-16.
- November 19, 2005: The end of the world as we know it. Failure to convert on 4th down and inches within three yards of the goal line results in the Vols’ first loss to Vanderbilt (28-24) in 22 years, ensuring the first losing season in 17 years and the first year without a bowl game in 16 years.
- November 26, 2005: The unranked Volunteers defeat Kentucky 27-8, marking the End of an Error
(I didn't mean it! Jerod Mayo told me to!)
And what about this year? Sure you may be in the driver's seat for the SEC East (go Vols!), but y'all went out to Cal and a bunch of nekkid, tree-huggin' hippies scored waaay too tenny muchdowns against you. (You were close!). And don't forget the dishumiliarrassment at Florida just two weeks later. (But they have Tim Tebow, and they're doing it to most everybody else, too!) And the Alabama blowout that featured a few of my not favorite things? It was like every guy on our defensive squad had a concussion. How many fingers am I holding up? "Wednesday!" they all shout in unison. (Just kidding!)
So what if you beat Southern Miss and Arkansas State and Louisiana-Lafayette? (At least you weren't upset, like Michigan or Southern Cal!) Having good games against Georgia and Arkansas just confirms that you are bi-polar and that you can play well during your manic phase. (Get well soon!) Tell me why fans shouldn't expect a relapse into a depressive state against Vandy this week or Kentucky next? (Your meds have kicked in, and you'll be ready!)
Think you're good? Think you're worthy of the SEC Championship Game? Prove it. I'll believe it when I see it. (You can do it!)
Okay rant over. Um, if you couldn't tell, that was a bit uncomfortable for me. Love ya, guys! I think you're great! You can beat both Vandy and Kentucky, just like you usually do.
But please just motivate yourselves, because I really suck at it.
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Dude
Hope it works :)
by BloodSpite on Nov 14, 2007 9:18 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Perverse psychology
by RevOrange on Nov 14, 2007 9:53 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
The Dark Side
by bulldurham on Nov 14, 2007 10:05 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
The Vols SUCK
I'm going to go on my "Vols suck" rant later on today. First of all, I need to write a glowing piece about our future.
LOL
Then, I'll put on my mean britches.
by ghostofneyland on Nov 14, 2007 10:34 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Okay then...
The offense can't keep momentum in the second half. Erik Ainge couldn't throw a ten yard pass into a barn door. Our recievers can't catch a cold walking around in bare feet on wet ground in February. And forget run blocking. Arian Foster should be leading the NCAA in yards but then it doesn't help that he's got no vision either. Play calling? What play calling? Our play calling is so bad that defenses are taking naps in the second half and still keeping us out of the end zone (insert tired wet paper bag joke here).
The defense couldn't stop an 80 year old woman with a walker. Running backs could be riding skate boards on the turf and still gain 100+. Our defensive line is so weak, they're what paper towels compare themselves to when doing breakage demonstrations in commercials. Our linebackers are so slow that sometimes it's hard to tell if they're even awake during the game. And forget about defending the pass. The linebackers are so bad at reading the quarterback that they'll have to invent a new category of dyslexia just for them. And if a reciever is taller than 5 foot nothing, we can forget about our corners or safeties covering them, and God forbid they're faster than a ten year old on Ritalin. I'm suprised they don't live in an ICU during the week from getting burned so bad every Saturday.
I'm not even gonna discuss special teams. Talk about your Achille's heel!
Oh, it's gonna be horrible this Saturday. Earl Bennett's gonna break the NCAA record for recieving yards in a single game. Don't be suprised if we have several defenders that need surgery on Monday because of their broken ankles. We're gonna give up soooo many yards rushing trying to handle their passing attack that the stat keeper's gonna get carpal tunnel. It's gonna be an embarrassment I tell ya, we might as well not even show up. This game has let down written all over it! Forget Atlanta. We'll be lucky to make it to Shreveport. Ahhhh, horrible, just horrible. Same old Vols.
How was that? Oh, I can't breathe. God forgive me.
by XRayVol on Nov 14, 2007 1:58 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
OMG-suck
by bulldurham on Nov 14, 2007 2:24 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Sadly,
(I'm looking at you, Foster.)
by Holly Anderson on Nov 14, 2007 4:00 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
WHAT IF ?
Sounds great "IF" they can do it. Tough row to hoe BUT it's all up to the Team. IF IF'S AND BUT'S WERE CANDY AND NUTS WE ALL WOULD HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS. "Big Orange National Champs". WHAT IF?
Go Vols BEAT VANDY!!!
by old smokey on Nov 14, 2007 4:18 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Well...
Oh yeah, the Vols just pounded the Arkansas-Monticello Boll Weevils 101-44... that is a 67 point beatdown, with Chris Lofton still sleep walking through games (only 5 points)!
by Volorado on Nov 14, 2007 10:52 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
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