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PEARLFECTION

Warning: another tyop and misinformation zone below. It's late. Way.
 

894. The approximate number of times we heard the word "perfect" or some variation thereof during the hours leading up to, and throughout, last night's showdown between the No. 1 Memphis Tigers and the No. 2 Tennessee Volunteers. The Tigers were well on their way to joining the ranks of the elite and earning the lofty label of Perfect.

Not.

So.

Fast.

Memphis retailers could sell thousands of blue I Hate Orange t-shirts to zealous fans. The University of Memphis athletic department could deny ESPN's request to pack out the FedEx Forum with half Tiger fans and half Vol fans and instead limit admission to 3,500 Memphis fans. They could even somehow orchestrate a distribution of tickets to Tennessee fans such that no two orange outfits would be contiguous to each other.

And that's not all. Memphis head coach John Calipari could intentionally refer to Memphis native J.P. Prince as "P.J." instead of his rightful name, attempting to relegate his importance to something approximating the utility of nightwear. Sticks and stones, coach. Sticks and stones. Memphis players could even devote an entire evening to wrapping Chris Lofton up in a tight little taquito shell and hold him to 2-11 shooting from the field and 0-4 shooting from behind the arc.

They could do all of that, but they could not be Perfect.

To be fair, Tennessee couldn't do everything it wanted to, either. But the Tennessee team aspires not to be perfect, but Pearlfect, to reach that state in which one player's weaknesses, whether permanent or temporary, are offset entirely by a teammate's enduring or fleeting strengths.

This night belonged to J.P. Prince, and that was only fitting on an evening when the media was unashamed of its infatuation with the daughter former wife of the King of Rock and Roll. Prince's talents, wildly inconsistent and imperfect for much of the season, this night demanded the spotlight. Call him Flannel Pajamas if you wish, coach Cal, but J.P. was the opposite of flame retardant at your place, and he lit you up, sir, shooting 5-8 from the field and 3-4 from the stripe and adding to the stat sheet four offensive rebounds, four defensive rebounds, one block, and two steals on his way to 13 points. Imperfect on the season, Pearlfect Saturday night.

That's just the way this team operates. When one player comes up short, another steps up strong in some unexpected manner. So while Dick Vitale was fawning over the future NBA stars on the Memphis roster, Memphis native and Volunteer big man Wayne Chism was stepping out beyond the three-point line and knocking down shot after shot after shot. When Chism wasn't raining threes, JaJuan Smith was. When Juanny wasn't getting open, Tyler Smith was driving to the bucket. When Chris Lofton wasn't hitting shots for the entire game, no one panicked, and yes, there he was at the end, securing the game-winning rebound and icing the game with free throws.

That, my friends, is Pearlfection.

*By the way, I must hat tip my wife for coming up with the term.

1 recs  |  Comment 9 comments

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I have been
laughing deliriously for about six hours at this point.  Thank you for this.  I SAID IT'S GREAT!

by Holly Anderson on Feb 24, 2008 4:16 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Love the term.
We should try to get that into the lexicon.

Sa-weet video too.  That'll get some hits.

Speaking of the video, did you notice the use of NU/UT highlights when discussing Nebraska's perfection?  Nice little incidental addition to the whole thing.

by Hooper on Feb 24, 2008 9:07 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Kiss
Give your wife a kiss for me!  Pearlfection...simply Pearlfect!  Get that puppy trademarked before somebody else (Read: me) slaps it on a Tshirt and makes some phat cash!

Also, that-raght-thur was some sweet prose, man!  You're getting up there in the Orsonistic rank of writing!  Literary creativity bypassed my genes, so all I have to offer is wonderment of those who do have it.  Keep up the great work, my friend!

by Aerobab on Feb 24, 2008 11:55 AM EST reply actions   0 recs

Pearlfect
has t-shirt written all over it.  

I'm still in disbelief.  Last night I realized that if the Vols play that scrappy and with that much heart, they'll have a shot at a national title.  And oh yeah, let's not forget ZERO 3's from Lofton and ZERO 2nd half points by Juanny and we still beat Memphis at Memphis.  This team is stacked.

Let's just hope the players can get up for Vandy on Tuesday, because there is nothing they would like better than to knock the #1 team/in-state rival/revenge game.  

And yes, wins over Vandy and UK this week and UT has the SEC regualr season championship!

And now... the BasketVols!

by Volorado on Feb 24, 2008 1:46 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Umm...
I may be missing an obvious inside joke about her apparent many plastic surgeries, but Priscilla was Elvis' wife, not his daughter.

by colonel angus on Feb 24, 2008 1:53 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Right-o
You missed the "Warning" statement that preceded the post.

Bottom line is that there were entirely too many references to Evlis' family members.  Wasn't sure if  I was watching a Presley documentary or a basketball game.  Pretty annoying.

by Aerobab on Feb 24, 2008 3:03 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Argh
No, no inside joke, just part of that "misinformation zone" thing. In fact, I'm considering making it part of our mission statement. "Misinformation delivered badly at irregular intervals." Something like that.

Seriously, though, thanks for spotting that. It's fixed now.

As far as I know. ;-)

Go Vols!

by Joel on Feb 24, 2008 3:50 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

Loud Coat Guy meets Pitino Syndrome Guy
Yes, it's a little outdated now, but it's still an entertaining read, given the writer.

"Mr. Hall" (whoever that is), wrote some fairly factual commentary describing the differences between 'Loud Coat Guy' and 'Pitino Syndrome Guy'.

Basically what we learned last night is that LCG >> PSG!  WOOOOO! Some more!

by Aerobab on Feb 24, 2008 3:35 PM EST reply actions   0 recs

Thanks for the link.
Shockingly, the comments at that place are, well, good comments!  They're well-written, respectful, a little playful, and all without sacrificing their fandom.  Is that even legal on a commercial site?

by Hooper on Feb 24, 2008 3:49 PM EST up reply actions   0 recs

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