FanPost

Bite Me Ohio State

March Madness is so much more fun when your team is still alive and on a roll!

(There might be some bad words in here, but nothing too bad that you haven't heard or read before!)

March Madness is so much more fun when your team is still alive and on a roll! The Vols managed to hold off Virginia on Sunday and set up a rematch with Ohio State. Earlier in the season the Vols traveled to Columbus and had the Buckeyes beat. In fact, if it wasn't for a missed free throw, some questionable officiating, and a crazy last second shot the Vols would have won the game.

So here is the dream scenario for the Vols:

  1. Beat our Yankee oppressors (Ohio State) and send that 45 year old freshman to the NBA early. No one is giving the Vols a chance to beat the Buckeyes, which is exactly how we want it. We have Bruce Pearl and Chris Lofton, trust me, we aren't scared. The last time a group of Volunteers went to San Antonio, we stole Texas away from Mexico! When was the last time anyone from Ohio stole a state? That's what I thought, 2000-and-never!
  2. Get to beat Memphis again so we can listen to their coach whine some more about how they are the best team in the state. Maybe if they didn't play St. Mary's School of the Blind all the time they would get some respect.
  3. Beat Vanderbilt in the Final Four so my step mom and brother will cry.
  4. Beat Florida for the National Title and never watch basketball again!
There have been some people who don't understand what the song Rocky Top is about. Let me translate it for you:

Wish that I was on ol' Rocky Top
 Down in the Tennessee hills
Aint' no smoggy smoke on Rocky Top
 Ain't no telephone bills
Once I had a girl on Rocky Top
 Half bear, other half cat
Wild as a mink,
 but sweet as soda pop
I still dream about that.

(Translation: Rocky Top is a great place to live. And the women are good looking, but will also beat your ass! See the Lady Vols)

Rocky Top you'll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol' Rocky Top
Rocky Top Tennessee,
Rocky Top Tennessee

Once two strangers climbed ol' Rocky Top
Lookin' for a moonshine still
Strangers ain't come down from Rocky Top
Reckon they never will
Corn won't grow at all on Rocky Top
 Dirt's too rocky by far
That's why all the folks on Rocky Top
 Get their corn from a jar

(Translation: We make our own booze on Rocky Top and if any Yankee Buckeye oppressor or Florida Gator scum wants to come up here and shut down the operation, they might get murdered.)

I've had years of cramped-up city life
Trapped like a duck in a pen
All I know is it's a pity life
Can't be simple again

(Translation: If you don't live on Rocky Top, it sucks for you. Ohio State will soon find out how bad it sucks to be ranked so high and get throttled by Bruce Pearl and company.)

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