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Rocky Top Talking Points: Jack Bauer in the booth edition

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  • The following takes place between 8:00 and 8:03 p.m. I wasn't able to participate in Tuesday's EDSBS Live show again this week. Had I been able, I would have suggested that Jack Bauer would make a fine color commentator for college football games.

    THE DEVICE, VERNE! . . . WHERE'S THE DEVICE!!!

    [sound of gunshots]

    [touching a finger to his earpiece] CTU, Lundquist does not know the location of the telestrator. I repeat. Lundquist does not know the location of the telestrator!

    [pauses, glances over at corpse]

    Um, yeah, pretty sure.

  • More aggressive defense from Pearl. You gotta love Bruce Pearl. Not only did he say what you expect your current coach to say ("I'm happy coaching at the University of Tennessee"), he did even that with flair:
    I'm putting it out there just as fast as I can because I don't want it to be a concern of our fans, and I want to demonstrate my loyalty and my commitment to this program. I appreciate very much being here, so I don't want them to worry about me going anywhere. This is where I want to be. I want to be here as long as they'll be happy with me here.
  • I'll take 10-2. College Football News has its 2007 SEC Team-by-Team Schedules out. According to CFN, Tennessee's best-case record is 11-1, its worst-case record is 7-5, and its realistic record is 10-2. Florida's numbers are 12-0, 8-4, and 10-2, respectively.
  • Big, lardacious question marks. Coach Fulmer said yesterday that Dan Williams, Demonte' Bolden, and J.T. Mapu all "moved themselves closer to being able to help our football team." The news reports characterize this comment as "praise," but it seems faint praise to me, especially when you look at what else he said: "I would have said at the beginning of spring -- and probably did -- that we had no defensive tackles that could play in the Southeastern Conference. Those guys moved themselves closer with their last scrimmage and I expect the same kind of work this week. They have to do it."

    Regarding the receiving corps, it appears to be a big fat question mark, except possibly for sophomore Quintin Hancock, who Fulmer says has been consistently the best receiver.

    Last year's punter, Britton Colquitt, is the leading candidate to be next year's kicker, although Daniel Lincoln has "closed the gap."

    Oh, and fans are supposed to "keep an eye on" offensive linemen Chris Scott and Ramon Johnson, defensive linemen Chase Nelson and Wes Brown, and linebacker LaMarcus Thompson.

    Goosebump-inducing stuff, huh?

  • Starting 'em early. Volpimp over at Voluminous details his close encounter with Justin Harrell along with his one-year-old son's 40 time and bench press.
  • Shadow? No shadow? The 8th Maxim pulls a Punxsutawney Phil by poking his head out of his whole and declaring several more weeks of hibernation.

Until tomorrow then, although I think there's a podcast in the pipeline, so check back later for that.