Man, it's almost like work. Everybody's trying to squeeze in their roundtables and polls before Game Week begins. The Preseason BlogPoll is out, and Georgia is once again No. 1, which is perfect because it's the preseason. The SEC Power Poll is also out, and the blogger hivemind has named Urban Meyer the best coach in the SEC and Mark Richt the second best coach in the SEC above four other coaches with national championships. And Kyle? Oh, Kyle. Kyle is a keen and zealous advocate for his "client," the notion that national championships are overrated. You know, like trendy designer jeans and jackets that you only want because the cool kids have them. Unfortunately, Kyle's "client" is psychotic as a loon, and the Zealous Advocate is resigned to making ludicrous, eyebrow-raising statements in its defense. To wit:
Finishing (rather than merely starting) the season ranked No. 1, though, is not a source of pleasure or even necessarily a sign of having achieved anything appreciably greater than what Georgia has accomplished consistently throughout much of the Mark Richt era.
Yeah, he said that, which of course is what the kids who can't have designer brands say about those who have and flaunt them. Kyle, love ya, man, but wow. The worst thing about all of this is that if and when the Bulldogs do win a national championship under Richt, Kyle's just deprived himself of the opportunity to enjoy that particular achievement. Save yourself and recant now, my friend!
Speaking of Dawg Sports, apparently the ability to use words well is contagious because one of the community members over there just posted a fantastic piece about watching last year's Sugar Bowl in his dad's hospital room and watching this season without him. Definitely worth the read.
One: Don’t stink. Everyone stinks at the gym, but the occasional fragrance frotteur insists on wearing the gym clothes they pulled from the trunk. These are the gym clothes that, if put in an enclosed glass container with lab rats, would eat the rats in a flash of tentacles, blood, and little rat screams. They’ve been in the person’s trunk for at least two days, enough time to turn innocent sweat and shed skin cells into weapons-grade biological material in even a mild climate.
. . .
Three: Don’t warm up in the sauna. We don’t have a sauna at the gym, mostly due to the conditions inside the sauna being identical to the conditions you face stepping out into the parking lot of the gym, meaning a sauna would really just be a room outside with wood paneling and a fat guy sitting naked in it, and around here we call that a "mobile home." In the interest of not duplicating services, most Atlanta area gyms don’t offer saunas.
Wouldn't life be much grander if Orson was writing all of the world's procedural manuals?
And finally this morning only because I'm once again out of time . . . Hey Jenny Slater continues his annual tradition of rolling out SEC Motivational Posters. My favorite: