(via zzzack)
Ah, welcome to our fine establishment. For your pleasure today, we have a fine sampling of the finest delicacies on our buffet line. At such a reasonable price cough, free, cough, how could you possibly resist such a fine fare?
(via jspatchwork)
Well, it would be a fine fare, if it existed. Unfortunately, the opening day here at Golden Dragon is a little, um, well, minimalist. But your trip here is not all a waste. For though the buffet lines are empty, our stockpile of Fortune Cookies currently overflows the kitchen. So, who would like a Fortune Cookie, compliments of our establishment?
You, sir? What is your name?
"Jonathan Crompton"
Ah, most honorable Crompton, here is a cookie for you:
Your great patience will be rewarded with many riches.
Your lucky lottery numbers are: 4, 6, 12, 21, 81, and 87.
And you, what is your name?
"Gerald Jones"
Honorable Jones, welcome to the Golden Dragon. Have this cookie, and may its luck shine on you:
Many adventures await for you today; do not hesitate to explore every opportunity.
And here is a cookie for you:
You have had much stress. Sleep in late, spend the day relaxing, and avoid difficult situations. If you do, you will wake up much refreshed.
Sir, I did not catch your name. What was it?
...
Sir, please speak up. I am hard of hearing.
...
One more time?
"Kevin Craft"
Oh. Many apologies, Mister Craft. Perhaps I can interest you in our medicinal herbs, available in the back for low, low, cash-only prices?