Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Auburn Tigers.
- 2008: Auburn 14, Tennessee 12. The Opportunity-Plays-Ding-Dong-Ditch game that also included the spectacular Crompter-Foston fumble-six, which led to this post-game award: "Worst sequel. It's like Halloween, Part XIII. You know the plotline: Jonathan Crompton and Arian Foster botch the handoff in the danger zone. Villain recovers in the end zone for a TD and murders all hope. It never gets new."
- 2004: Beat us twice in the same year, 34-10 and 38-28, the latter depriving us of an SEC Championship with no "East" qualifier.
- Beat us four years in a row from 1961-1964
- Currently on another four-game winning streak (2003, 2004x2, 2008).
- They try to secretly replace their coaches before they actually let them go.
- Can't spell:
- They done run over our best tackler:
The Litany of Losses
Probably not true
- Tommy Tuberville plotted to hire Tony Franklin as his new offensive coordinator last year just so he could retire with a severance and get Phillip Fulmer fired at the same time.
- Gus Malzahn calls plays with a ouija board and roams the sidelines with the shrunken head of Elvis in his pocket.
- Gene Chizik thinks BBQ tastes like "devil's blood."
- Auburn's president told Phillip Fulmer that Trooper Taylor was "one a them Illuminati" just so he wouldn't hire him as his offensive coordinator.
I'm certain I've missed some. Whatcha got?