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The Record of Wrongs: South Carolina Gamecocks

Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the South Carolina Gamecocks.

  • Steve Spurrier wants to raise your taxes and bomb your buildings.
  • Um, they used to feature Blake Mitchell as their QB, and Blake Mitchell, well . . .

  • Um, this bizarrity:

  • Coach Steve Spurrier used to coach the Florida Gators, and once you get that stink on you, it never comes off. Credit him with much of Florida's Record of Wrongs as well.
  • Steve Spurrier once infamously said, "You can't spell Citrus without U-T." Bad enough, that, but it also spawned a thousand poor attempts at mimicry: You can't spell [. . .] without [. . .] LOL!!1
  • Steve Spurrier once said of Peyton Manning, "I know why Peyton came back for his senior year: he wanted to be a three-time Citrus Bowl MVP!"
  • South Carolina's logo features a "gaudy giant C," and "frightened . . . multitasking poultry" that is "squawking its little chicken heart out while molting":

    South Carolina Logo
  • Probably not true

    • Steve Spurrier is the devil.
    • South Carolina choose its school colors because its two most favoritist things are "black and blood." The institution's first president was an incisored living dead and now resides in a vault in the basement of the campus library.
    • The entire athletic department is kept afloat by revenue generated at the school's popular Tuesday Night Cock Fights. They're efficient, adding to the gambling take money made on the poor beaten contestants, as they are put on ice and shipped to Baton Rouge for breadin', fryin', and eatin'.

    That's all I've got for now. The floor is open.