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The Record of Wrongs: Ole Miss Rebels

Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Ole Miss Rebels.

Probably not true

  • In 1953, Kentucky's Colonel Sanders testified against fastfood mafia kingpin Captain D, who was trying to pass off fish as chicken to unsuspecting customers. In return for his cooperation, the FBI agreed to move Sanders into the Witness Protection Program and relocate him to Mississippi. However, Mississippi Governer Fielding L. Wright, who allegedly wanted no competition for his burgeoning meat-and-three cartel, would agree to house Sanders in the state only upon the condition that Sanders be forced into a non-competitive life of indentured servitude as the University of Mississippi's mascot.

  • When the program terminated Ed Orgeron in November of 2007, the Ole Miss AD drove Orgeron up State Road 7 a piece, gave him a wheelbarrow half full of energy drinks and processed meat-ish products, pointed him north, and "gave him a five minute head start before the boosters showed up with their Hummers, huntin' dawgs, and shotguns."

Actually true (sorta)

  • 1983, 1979-1980, 1977, 1975, 1973 1969, 1959-1966, 1957, 1947-1948.
  • Circa 2005-2007. According to Bruce Feldman's Meat Market, Ole Miss boosters insisted that head coach Ed Orgeron, a recovering alcoholic, schmooze with them even if it meant tempting Orgeron by bringing him into close proximity with his prior vice.
  • If Colonel Reb really is crying, he's a sissy.
  • Well, maybe he is a sissy. What else would you expect from a program with a sissy cursive logo.

    Ole Miss Logo
  • December, 1998. The Rebels stole our David Cutcliffe right out from under our noses, breaking up the dominant Fulmer-Cutcliffe-Chavis trio.
  • December, 2004. Ole Miss fired the Manning-Maker, after his luring of another Manning reinvigorated the program, simply because of one Eli-less season with a losing record.
  • Ole Miss has shown absolutely no appreciation for the fact that, despite it being a mostly-irrelevant football program, it's been featured in two of the most popular books ever written about college football: Bruce Feldman's Meat Market and Michael Lewis's Blind Side.
  • This. How dare you catalog our wrongs for all the world to see.
  • Criticize Tennessee for obesity? Really? What with y'all leading the way and everything?  

I'm certain I've missed some. Whatcha got?