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The Record of Wrongs: Memphis Tigers

Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Memphis Tigers.

  • September 30, 2006. Memphis punter Michael Gibson punted seven times for 356 yards and averaged 50.9 yards per attempt.  He booted one 73 yards, and his teammates were able to down three of his punts inside the five yard line. Because he punted so well, Erik Ainge had to go much further for his five touchdowns in a 41-7 victory.
  • 1996. Tennessee 17, Memphis 21. The "he's down, he's not down game." Video evidence:

  • 1988. Tiger fans had the audacity to greet the Volunteers when they arrived for the game with a chant of "Oh-and-six! Oh-and-six!", the Vols' record going into the game despite Tennessee having beaten Memphis State 11 times in a row. After the game, Vol fans chanted, "Oh-and-12! Oh-and-12!"
  • Highly scientific studies have concluded that Memphis has the ninth-worst logo in college football:

    Memphis logo The abnormally-colored Memphis Tiger looks less like a blood-thirsty carnivore than your paraplegic grandfather rolling his wheelchair toward you looking for an inappropriate hug.

Probably not true

  • Due to a quirk in the Tennessee Code, when Memphis State was stripped of its right to use the word "State" in its name, it's first choice for a substitute name was in fact "Tiger High," but the General Assembly thought that "too uppity" considering the institution.
  • The first eight live tigers Memphis attempted to use as mascots were all killed in a single caffeine-fueled all-nighter because that's how long it took the school scientists to learn that making the tigers orange and blue by depriving them of oxygen wasn't working.
  • Tennessee's two senators in 1993 petitioned then-governor Ned McWherter to sign a highly secretive and unusual "reverse annexation," quitclaiming the entire city of Memphis to the State of Arkansas without their consent. It was thwarted at the eleventh hour by a swarm of 13-year cicadas.

I'm certain I've missed some. Whatcha got?