Hear ye, hear ye. It's time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Memphis Tigers.
John Calipari believes that the Vols "foul, like on every possession."
Calipari believes that Tennessee can only get players from Memphis if Memphis doesn't want them.
Calipari says he is more afraid of Tulane than Tennessee.
Calipari's arrogance is derived from success against Atlantic 10 and Conference USA opponents.
Calipari's standard response to having to honor the contract requiring Tennessee and Memphis to play home-and-home games:
Memphis players slap fans (click for big and then see the poor guy dressed in red among all that horrid blue):
Memphis retailers sold thousands of blue I Hate Orange t-shirts prior to the Pearlfection game last year.
The Memphis athletic department denied ESPN's request to pack out the FedEx Forum with half Tiger fans and half Vol fans and instead limited admission to 3,500 Memphis fans.
Memphis somehow orchestrated a distribution of tickets to last year's game such that it seemed almost as if no two Tennessee fans were sitting next to each other.
Calipari (intentionally?) referred to Memphis native J.P. Prince as "P.J." last year.
Memphis players basically wrapped Chris Lofton up in a tight little taquito shell last year so he could barely move, much less shoot.
Calipari considers Tennessee "a regional power."
The maximum distance Calipari can be kicked is only 200,000 miles.
There is no program in the country that respects Tennessee less than Memphis.
Memphis fans taunted Dane Bradshaw three years ago by chanting, "Mem-phis Re-ject."
Their abnormally-colored logo looks less like a blood-thirsty carnivore than your paraplegic grandfather rolling his wheelchair toward you looking for an inappropriate hug.