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The Record of Wrongs: Vanderbilt Commodores

Yeah, we just did this back in January, but for those of us who are either forgetful, superstitious, or adamant about the establishment of and adherence to Tradition, here again is the Official Reading of the Record of Wrongs of the Vanderbilt Commodores:

Totally true

  • Last year about this time, Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings called Bruce Pearl an "idiot a------." He apparently didn't like the whole shirtless, paint-your-chest thing.
  • As I mentioned in the totally serious game preview, the Commodores stole the Vols' only No. 1 ranking in the history of the program. Tennessee climbed to No. 1 after the Pearlfection game and just three days later, lost by three points to Vandy and their crazy court.
  • That loss to Vandy I just mentioned? Rigged. I give the floor to the esteemed Fulmer's Belly for the recap:

    Seriously though, just in case you guys didn’t get the memo, here’s the officiating rundown for the game.

    1. First off, we’ve got Tennessee. Whenever they do anything… like say, pointing? That’s a foul.Yep, if they’re wearing any kind of orange, and do anything to even get CLOSE to anyone wearing a white jersey, go ahead and blow your whistle. In fact, when orange has the ball, just breathe through your whistle. It’ll just be easier, mmkay?

    2. Next up, we’ve got Vandy’s side of the ref’s manual. If white does anything to orange, see if there is any way to foul orange. If it looks too too TOO bad, go ahead and don’t call anything. I know, it might seem weird, especially if people are being tackled to the ground, but still, trust me, it’s better to not blow any whistles, because you want to save the ‘ole cork ball for orange (see point 1).

  • As Will has already pointed out: It's not just February 26, 2008, it's also January 10, 2007.

Totally fabricated, but TRUE!

  • Back in 2003, an overzealous engineering student in the Vanderbilt student section got some help from a friend and threw an eight-pound encyclopedia at Chris Lofton as he was heading for the locker room at halftime. Fortunately, Duke Crews was there to intercept it. He ate the thing and vomited it back out onto the entire section. Let that be a lesson to ya, kids.
  • In 2002, Commodore fans hired Cletus T. Judd to sing his entire catalog of country parodies during the Vols' pre-game walk-through. American Psychology Television later devoted an entire episode to finding Judd, who fortunately was never seen in public again.

Disclaimer: Chill. We're just having fun, okay?