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The Record of Wrongs: UCLA Bruins

Hear ye, hear ye. It's Time. Time for Tennessee Volunteer fans to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the UCLA Bruins.

Here’s how the Bruins can start their season off right and send the Vols’ fans back to Rocky Top with nothing but a hangover to show for their mule ride over the prairies.

Pin Tennessee’s tailbones to the goal line and see how they like trying to move across some of the most expensive real estate in the country.
  • As further evidence of stereotyping, the OCRegister posted the following YouTube in advance of last year's game:

  • Rick Neuheisel's major NCAA violations while at Colorado.
  • Bill Walton went to school at UCLA.
  • Sissy colors.
  • For home football games -- football! -- they employ a sideline juggler. A JUGGLER!

  • The Bruins play in the Pac-10.
  • In 2004, a UCLA research scientist applied for and received a grant to study the effects of boiling kittens. The result? Salivation for four out of five research assistants.
  • Norm Chow's favorite pasttime is cruising the parking lot at the mall and parking his cherry red Lexus sideways in two contiguous spaces reserved for Expectant Mothers, sitting on the trunk, and laughing at pregnant ladies as they waddle past him on their way to Nordstrom's.
  • The second-most popular routine of the UCLA cheerleading squad makes liberal use of derogatory and disparaging names for lawyers, pastors, and nuclear engineers.
  • What have we missed?