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The Tennessee Volunteer Coaching Search Mad Lib!

If you happen to need to start another rumor (e.g. if the most recent rumor is already a half hour old), just use this handy-dandy Mad Lib to make your announcement.  If you see square brackets, choose an option among those listed.  If you see normal brackets, fill in the information as described.  You'll get the idea.

It'll save you a bunch of time.  And it's not like anybody will know the difference.

BREAKING NEWS:  I just heard from [sources inside the athletic department / a friend close to the situation / Mike Hamilton himself] that (insert coach's name here) has agreed in principle to be the next head coach at Tennessee!  His [NFL experience / recruiting prowess / successful schemes] will help UT draw back in the recruits needed to beat [Florida / Alabama / Florida and Alabama].  He even has Tennessee ties from (insert actual/imagined Tennessee ties here).

The contract will be for $(insert number between 2 and 4) million for (insert number between 3 and 7) years.  Coach (insert new head coach's name here) will keep the current staff on board at least through signing day, and is believed to want to keep them beyond that time.

Welcome to Tennessee, C(insert coach's initials immediately after the capital 'C').

Now in less than a minute, you too can create a firestorm on Volunteer websites like Volquest and Volnation!  (Also works if you want to piss off fans of rival schools - just enter in their beloved coach's name and post on their site!)