Rocky Top Talking Points, Triumphant Return to Butcher the Meek Edition
Hark! Vol fans! I return from roaming the earth, and going back and forth in it, and drinking large quantities of it! The end times are past, and November (when everybody who's cool knows the real football season starts) is upon us! Things are looking up! But first the totally weird:
- Following the firing a couple weeks ago of Coach Tim Brewster, perennial powerhouse/icy-hellhole/coaching-graveyard Minnesota has indicated Phil Fulmer as a possible candidate for new head coach. "Minnesota has great potential, and with its new facilities it's a place you could recruit to,'' Fulmer told GVX on Tuesday night. (Cue Igloo and drinking yourself to death jokes in 3...2...)
Now: The Good!
- For everybody with Comcast in Knoxville, your programming overlords have deemed you worthy of the CBS sports network, meaning you get to watch the Memphis game! Rejoice.
- The color commentary on Saturday, incidentally, will apparently be co-handled by World Famous Drunk-Mister-Magoo Impersonator Mike Leach. You can hear him talk about the game, not coaching for Vandy, and bologna sandwiches here.
- The ice-blooded beanpole (note to self, work on the nickname) Tyler Bray is utterly unfazed with his recent promotion.
- Tauren Poole (with the help of Allison Dooley, of all people) realized he's not, in fact, Walter Payton, and should probably just, you know, run forward.
- Tennessee should be in the top 25! (At least according to an SBNation poll ballot sent by some blog that appears to have then immediately shut down)
- Michigan's top-rated prospect, WR DeAnthony Arnett, according to ESPN has narrowed his choices to Tennessee, Michigan St. and the West Coast Condom Team Whose Name Shall Never Again Be Spoken Amongst Decent Folk. ESPN also claims he'll make his announcement November 11. If you want to get really confused, check out his twitter, where he flatly denies this, and then proceeds to alternate at 3-hour intervals between tweeting "@ Night I couldnt sleep I was tossing and turning woke up singing "Rocky Top" @ 6am in the morning!" and "SSSSSSSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEE" (that last one was broken up into 5 tweets, one for each letter, so I probably got the number of "T"s wrong. Sue me.) Lebron is not a role model, kids.
- Crazy Flashback FunTime Fact! Memphis's defensive line coach is.... wait for it.... the lovable Mike DuBose! (Who has NEVER BEATEN TENNESSEE! HA! Though that also presumably means the Memphis D-line is making good money.)
- Certain RTT administrators (spoiler alert! I mean Joel) have ceased with their incessant journalistic integrity/evil magic voodoo curses and predicted a win!
- Also that team from Nashville got some new guy.
After the Jump: Starters! Change-ups! Incredibly bad GVX articles! Oh my!
- In one of those underreported-cuz-it's-important-but-hey-it's-not-a-quarterback!-so-who-cares-let's-get-a-beer-journalism moments, true freshman Fullback Channing Fugate will replace senior Kevin Cooper.
- On the O-line, the coaches are still waiting to decide on starting much-awaited James Stone over Darin Gooch at center- his left-handedness is apparently the holdup.
- The Chinese fire drill that is the Tennessee secondary continues unabated, as true freshman Brent Brewer will be starting at safety, with Prentiss Waggner to corner.
- Malik Jackson is leading the tackles in tackling, and really likes being a tackle. For which to do the tackling.
- And for our weekly "seriously, not a line of this makes any sense" sports-journalism moment, Andrew Gribble at GVX strings together a series of unrelated comments with the acuity of a stoned 9-year-old to prove that Bray starting will change nothing, except the things it changes.