Hear ye, hear ye. It's time for Tennessee Volunteer fans across the interwebosphere to gather for the ceremonial reading of the Record of Wrongs, a litany of the offenses committed by the Vanderbilt Commodores.
- January 27, 2010: Vanderbilt 85, Tennessee 76. The 'Dores outswaggered the Vols on their own floor, instigating both double technicals and multiple technicals, causing the officials to call what seemed like a thousand fouls and ruining an exceptional night from J.P. Prince.
- January, 2008: Vanderbilt coach Kevin Stallings called Bruce Pearl an "idiot a------." He apparently didn't like the whole shirtless, paint-your-chest thing.
- February 26, 2008: The Commodores stole the Vols' only No. 1 ranking in the history of the program. Tennessee climbed to No. 1 after the Pearlfection game and just three days later, lost by three points to Vandy and their crazy court.
- That loss to Vandy I just mentioned? Rigged. I give the floor to the esteemed Fulmer's Belly for the recap:
Seriously though, just in case you guys didn’t get the memo, here’s the officiating rundown for the game.
1. First off, we’ve got Tennessee. Whenever they do anything… like say, pointing? That’s a foul.Yep, if they’re wearing any kind of orange, and do anything to even get CLOSE to anyone wearing a white jersey, go ahead and blow your whistle. In fact, when orange has the ball, just breathe through your whistle. It’ll just be easier, mmkay?
2. Next up, we’ve got Vandy’s side of the ref’s manual. If white does anything to orange, see if there is any way to foul orange. If it looks too too TOO bad, go ahead and don’t call anything. I know, it might seem weird, especially if people are being tackled to the ground, but still, trust me, it’s better to not blow any whistles, because you want to save the ‘ole cork ball for orange (see point 1).
- January 10, 2007: "In a game that was not televised (ARGHHH!), Tennessee lost to Vandy (ARGHHH!) at the buzzer (ARGHHH!) 81-82 (arghh)."
- February 26, 2008: Vandy 72, Tennessee 69, the Vols' sole loss from January 26 to March 9 of that year.
- Resembles a muppet.
Totally fabricated, but TRUE!
- A.J. Ogilvy is the mysterious voice of Geico's gecko. In fact, he does all of the Australian voice overs as he's the only one in the country who actually talks like that. Thank the blue blood education and a bevy of secret society boosters for the monetization of a speech defect.
- Back in 2003, an overzealous engineering student in the Vanderbilt student section threw an eight-pound encyclopedia (he got help from a friend and they both used a lever) at Chris Lofton as he was heading for the locker room at halftime. Fortunately, Duke Crews was there to intercept it. He ate the thing and vomited it back out onto the entire section. Let that be a lesson to ya, kids.
- In 2002, Commodore fans hired Cletus T. Judd to sing his entire catalog of country parodies during the Vols' pre-game walk-through. American Psychology Today later devoted an entire issue to analyzing Judd, who fortunately was never seen in public again.
What have I missed, Vol fans?