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Alabama More Interested In Bowling, Cooking Than Defending Its Title Or Practicing

Look! Quotes taken out of context for fun!

Good news, fans of the SEC not wearing 2009 BCS National Championship apparel. Alabama head coach Nick Saban informed the masses at SEC Media Days yesterday that the Crimson Tide is not going to defend its title:

But last year is basically over. You know, we're not really defending a championship. I'm sure somebody is going to ask me, How are you going to defend this championship? The championship's a part of history and we're not going to defend anything.

I think we're not into repeating.

In fact, it sounds like Saban's giving up on practicing altogether:

I don't know that spending more time in practice is necessarily going to enhance their chances of being successful in terms of their execution.

What are they going to do with all of that extra free time not practicing and not defending their championship? Go bowling, for one:

But we do, I will say this, try to encourage our players to do things together. You know, we have a bowling night in the summer where all the guys go bowling together. So we do give them an opportunity to get to know each other a little bit . . . .

And learn to cook for another:

. . . I watched a cooking show the other day with a guy on TV showing you how to cook. Let me just say, I put all the same ingredients in my pot as he put in his, and what came out of the oven is not the same as what came out of his oven.

So there you have it, SEC fans. The Tide are learning to cook and going bowling instead of practicing because they're not interested in defending their title.

*What he really said/meant: The "Process" is much more difficult coming off of success. He doesn't need to spend more time on the kicking part of the kicking game because kicks are like golf swings, and kickers can do that themselves. Bowling gives the guys something outside of football to do together that, you know, doesn't involve beating people up in bars at 2:00 a.m., and just having the same components doesn't necessarily guarantee the same result.

But the ellipses are much more fun.