Well, just how good was the offense this weekend? And just how bad was the defense? The answer is very, very, very. The more you type that word, the weirder it looks. Very weirder. Very, very, very.
Here are the latest NCAA statistical rankings for the Vols after the Extreme Bowl (co-sponsored by the new Red Bull Exponential and Ken's Disaster Restoration Services), grouped into three categories: Those things in which UT is in the Top 30, those things in which UT is in the Bottom 30, and everything else. First up, the Stuff UT Is Doing Well.
Categories In Which Tennessee Is In The Top Quartile |
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Category |
2011 |
NCS | GS | FL | AK | GA | MSB | AL | SC | TR | MO | VAN | KY |
Pass Sacks Allowed | 40 | 29 | 14 | 13 | 7 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 3 | 2 | |||
Tackles for Loss Allowed | 38 | 97 | 55 | 57 | 55 | 58 | 26 | 14 | 6 | 3 | |||
Passing Offense | 50 | 13 | 9 | 14 | 8 | 14 | 22 | 28 | 21 | 12 | |||
Total Offense | 104 | 23 | 15 | 30 | 17 | 18 | 22 | 34 | 29 | 18 | |||
Scoring Offense | 106 | 43 | 15 | 37 | 23 | 22 | 24 | 37 | 30 | 24 | |||
Red Zone Efficiency | 58 | 65 | 57 | 43 | 24 | 22 | 14 | 19 | 25 | 26 | |||
Kickoff Return Yardage Defense | 7 | 76 | 63 | 64 | 53 | 33 | 30 | 28 | 33 | 27 | |||
First Downs | 98 | 40 | 30 | 44 | 18 | 21 | 25 | 41 | 39 | 27 | |||
Passes Intercepted | 86 | 1 | 3 | 11 | 2 | 2 | 18 | 24 | 26 | 30 | |||
Passing Efficiency | 69 | 32 | 8 | 35 | 24 | 39 | 39 | 49 | 39 | 30 |
Dropped out: Fewest Yards Penalized Per Game
Returns: Kickoff Return Yardage Defense, First Downs, Passing Efficiency.
Woo the green. Lovely green. ALL OUR BACKFRIELD BELONG TO USZ. News flash: UT can pass, and they are quite happy to do it. Ten categories in the Top 30, almost all offensive and almost all passing-oriented. Forget the defense for a moment and do a happy dance.
#OPPORTUNITYISNOWHERE
Finished? Okay, now sit down. I mean it. Sit. Down.
The chart below looks like we got shot in Week 2 and can't stop the bleeding. We got shot again in Week 6, and in Week 7 Alabama unholstered the automatic. Now some guy named Troy comes along, and Troy is not a Good Samaritan. No, he's like the polar opposite of a Good Samaritan. He's like . . . Bad Opposite Samaritan Guy, and he's not stopping and helping. He's stopping and ripping off the bandages and sticking his grubby little fingers all down in our wounds and stuff. Not a nice man.
It's bad, is what I'm saying. Red Zone Efficiency Defense last in the nation, tied with Hawaii. Almost as bad is Pass Defense and Total Defense, hanging out with the likes of Idaho, Louisiana-Lafayette, Tulane, and Eastern Michigan. A Scoring Defense nestled snugly between Army and UAB.
And that doesn't even get us to Pass Sacks and Defense Fourth-down Efficiency. And look who's at the door! It's First Downs Allowed, Pass Efficiency Defense, and Rushing Defense! Party in the cellar!
Sigh.
Categories In Which Tennessee Is In The Bottom Quartile |
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Category |
2011 |
NCS | GS | FL | AK | GA | MSB | AL | SC | TR | MO | VAN | KY |
Rushing Defense | 69 | 46 | 36 | 84 | 74 | 92 | 81 | 89 | 85 | 90 | |||
Pass Efficiency Defense | 48 | 28 | 13 | 29 | 17 | 30 | 39 | 66 | 87 | 91 | |||
First Downs Allowed | 18 | 71 | 79 | 77 | 70 | 62 | 72 | 75 | 79 | 95 | |||
Defense Fourth-down Efficiency | 48 | 37 | 76 | 82 | 88 | 85 | 97 | 102 | 103 | 95 | |||
Pass Sacks | 100 | 68 | 47 | 83 | 94 | 100 | 95 | 91 | 86 | 97 | |||
Fumbles Recovered | 71 | 66 | 60 | 79 | 97 | 70 | 93 | 86 | 97 | 104 | |||
Scoring Defense | 36 | 54 | 38 | 64 | 61 | 81 | 90 | 96 | 101 | 107 | |||
Total Defense | 28 | 70 | 48 | 77 | 68 | 79 | 87 | 95 | 99 | 112 | |||
Time of Possession | 37 | 38 | 81 | 87 | 83 | 63 | 82 | 94 | 106 | 112 | |||
Pass Defense | 12 | 86 | 73 | 66 | 66 | 74 | 84 | 92 | 103 | 115 | |||
Red Zone Efficiency - Defense | 47 | 58 | 95 | 108 | 104 | 110 | 116 | 117 | 118 | 119 |
New Arrivals: Rushing Defense, Pass Efficiency Defense, First Downs Allowed, Pass Sacks.
Climbed out: Passes Had Intercepted.
Bonus Wikipedia Excerpt Concerning Albatrosses, Among the Largest of Flying Birds:
An albatross is a central emblem in The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge; a captive albatross is also a metaphor for the poète maudit in a poem of Charles Baudelaire. It is from the Coleridge poem that the usage of albatross as a metaphor is derived; someone with a burden or obstacle is said to have 'an albatross around their neck', the punishment given in the poem to the mariner who killed the albatross.
(Emphasis added.) Make of that what you will.
THE BIG FAT MIDDLE
And here's the rest, for tracking purposes.
Categories In Which Tennessee Is In The Middle |
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Category | 2011 |
NCS | GS | FL | AK | GA | MSB | AL | SC | TR | MO | VAN | KY |
Fewest Yards Penalized Per Game | 51 | 39 | 53 | 59 | 42 | 39 | 40 | 26 | 26 | 42 | |||
Fumbles Lost | 6 | 43 | 59 | 40 | 47 | 49 | 49 | 51 | 40 | 48 | |||
Defense Third-down Efficiency | 57 | 57 | 27 | 18 | 17 | 28 | 14 | 29 | 31 | 49 | |||
Offense Fourth-down Efficiency | 91 | 58 | 54 | 38 | 76 | 74 | 77 | 100 | 58 | 55 | |||
Offense Third-down Efficiency | 56 | 43 | 49 | 63 | 67 | 54 | 49 | 63 | 59 | 60 | |||
Kickoff Returns | 41 | 38 | 14 | 23 | 55 | 65 | 49 | 52 | 57 | 61 | |||
Tackles for Loss | 67 | 65 | 53 | 62 | 81 | 74 | 69 | 84 | 71 | 61 | |||
Rushing Offense | 116 | 45 | 42 | 71 | 57 | 49 | 45 | 57 | 68 | 62 | |||
Fewest Penalties Per Game | 56 | 52 | 53 | 75 | 69 | 71 | 66 | 45 | 45 | 65 | |||
Turnovers Gained | 91 | 3 | 7 | 28 | 20 | 11 | 39 | 48 | 59 | 72 | |||
Turnovers Lost | 20 | 23 | 51 | 55 | 69 | 94 | 85 | 93 | 82 | 75 | |||
Punt Returns | 61 | 59 | 51 | 54 | 38 | 41 | 47 | 48 | 63 | 76 | |||
Punt Return Yardage Defense | 85 | 5 | 8 | 26 | 29 | 20 | 20 | 73 | 81 | 81 | |||
Net Punting | 104 | 32 | 56 | 42 | 46 | 60 | 73 | 75 | 84 | 83 | |||
Turnover Margin | 59 | 4 | 18 | 48 | 41 | 55 | 69 | 80 | 80 | 85 | |||
Passes Had Intercepted | 63 | 1 | 28 | 78 | 76 | 100 | 92 | 101 | 103 | 89 |
Players in the Top 30
Player | Stat | 2011 | NCS | GS | FL | AK | GA | MSB | AL | SC | TR | MO | VAN | KY |
Cordarrelle Patterson | Kickoff Returns | - | - | 5 | 15 | 16 | 22 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 8 | |||
A.J. Johnson | Total Tackles | - | - | - | - | - | - | 11 | 7 | 5 | 6 | |||
Tyler Bray | Passing Yards Per Game | - | 10 | 11 | 13 | 9 | 14 | 16 | 20 | 16 | 9 | |||
Tyler Bray | Total Passing Yards | - | 10 | 7 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 24 | 23 | 18 | 9 | |||
Byron Moore | Interceptions | - | 5 | - | - | 6 | 5 | 4 | 6 | 7 | 12 | |||
Tyler Bray | Total Offense | - | 17 | 20 | 21 | 14 | 23 | 28 | 36 | 28 | 14 | |||
Justin Hunter | Total Receiving Yards | - | - | 11 | 12 | 5 | 17 | 47 | 37 | 37 | 16 | |||
Justin Hunter | Receiving Yards Per Game | - | - | 14 | 18 | 13 | 26 | 41 | 31 | 34 | 17 | |||
Tyler Bray | Points Responsible For | - | - | 12 | 22 | 10 | 16 | 19 | 32 | 24 | 20 | |||
Cordarrelle Patterson | All-Purpose Running | - | - | 8 | 23 | - | - | 28 | 29 | 36 | 24 | |||
Tyler Bray | Passing | - | 16 | - | 27 | 22 | 24 | 28 | 32 | 29 | 24 | |||
Tyler Bray | Passing Efficiency | - | 30 | 5 | 28 | 22 | 35 | 35 | 49 | 36 | 30 | |||
FORMERLY IN THE TOP 30 | ||||||||||||||
Justin Hunter | Receptions Per Game | - | 9 | 14 | 19 | 13 | 25 | 47 | 45 | 43 | 33 | |||
Curt Maggitt | Forced Fumbles | - | 6 | - | - | - | - | 27 | 28 | 43 | ||||
Curt Maggitt | Forced Fumbles | - | - | - | - | - | 21 | - | ||||||
Derrick Brodus | Field Goals | - | - | - | - | 18 | 23 | - | ||||||
Brian Randolph | Solo Tackles | - | - | 13 | - | 29 | - | - | ||||||
Cordarrelle Patterson | Total Receiving Yards | - | - | 30 | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Willie Bohannon | Fumbles Recovered | - | - | 17 | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Eric Gordon | Interceptions | - | 5 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Prentiss Waggner | Interceptions | - | 5 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Marsalis Teague | Interceptions | - | 5 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Maurice Couch | Forced Fumbles | - | 6 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Byron Moore | Solo Tackles | - | 11 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Michael Palardy | Field Goals | - | 13 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Curt Maggitt | Pass Sacks | - | 20 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Cordarrelle Patterson | Scoring | - | 25 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
Devrin Young | Kickoff Returns | - | 30 | - | - | - | - | - | ||||||
2011 | ||||||||||||||
Austin Johnson | Interceptions | 23 |