SEC Monster Manual: Left on the Cutting Room Floor

So, if you're one of the lucky many who have already bought the Rocky Top Tennessee magazine, good news! You'll recognize some of this. However, I also bring better news: you won't recognize all these, since there were a few monsters that couldn't fit the magazine for various reasons (read: we wrote too much already). So, because we're the kind of crew that likes to keep on giving, below the jump is a combination of new monsters and old monsters.

Bring your d20 and AD&D guide books.

Orange Nation

STR: 12 DEX: 10 INT: 4 WIS: 4 CON: 15 CHA: 9

Spells and Powers: Invisibility, Mob Mentality

Orange Nation gets the benefits and bonuses associated with monsters of the Mob type (half-damage by sharp objects, limited regeneration). Orange Nation will not initiate combat, but will rush into combat only when the party has been engaged with another target for two-plusrounds. Will retreat when faced with loud noises, the color red, or a 10-point halftime deficit.

Frequency: (all too) Common

James Franklin

STR: 13 DEX: 11 INT: 14 WIS: 7 CON: 12 CHA: 17

Spells and Powers: Zone of Despair, Charm, Extended Death

Franklin will claim initiative regardless of whether or not he actually wins initiative, then spend the entire battle talking about how much better he is than his opponent (1d2 drain to all skills, first two turns: WIS check v18, third turn and later: CON check v15. Failed checks are cumulative). When taken to 0 HP in battle, Franklin will take 1d4 turns to actually die, claiming he should've won the battle the entire time. Cannot defeat party (Vanderbilt status).

Frequency: Rare

Rex Grossman

STR: 18/00 DEX: 15 INT: 5 WIS: 5 CON: 6 CHA: 15

Spells and Powers: Dragon Breath (lightning), Dragon Breath (fire), Dragon Breath (acid)

Grossman will always attempt to critical hit regardless of the situation. He can be found deep in lairs waiting for the right time to strike (DM note: this can be any time). A fearsome predator, Grossman can also be easily outwitted by bright lights, loud noises, and by moving in non-linear directions.

Frequency: Occasional

Bear Bryant

STR: 8 DEX: 15 INT: 17 WIS: 17 CON: 9 CHA: 15

Spells and Powers: Life Extension, Spectral Touch, Prismatic Eye

Bear Bryant can typically be found only on astral planes; however, Bryant can be summoned by aggrieved members of the Alabama horde (see: "Iron and Payouts - The Auburn-Alabama Expansion") with a 20 (1d20 required) and by clerics (7th-level spell, Summon Bear. It should be noted that there is also a 0th-level spell, Summon Ghost of Bear, that does nothing). Bryant rarely participates directly in combat, but invoking the name of Bear Bryant in combat will confer a CON check (v15) on a 14-20 (1d20). Failing the CON check also does nothing.

Frequency: Very Rare (Ghost of Bear: common)

John Calipari

STR: 14 DEX: 14 INT: 17 WIS: 17 CON: 10 CHA: 18

Spells: Suggestion, Siphon Life, Summon Greater Familiar

John Calipari can use Suggestion as a free action. Player-characters and NPCs under the effect of a Calipari Suggestion have +1 to all skills and checks, but suffer a temporary alignment change to neutral evil during the course of the spell. Calipari will be found with 1d6 followers and 1 hero follower (Worldwide Wes); Calipari will Siphon Life from followers as an at-will spell. Calipari will typically be found in lairs, and prior lairs occupied by Calipari have a Ward Against Good (INT v20 to pass).

Frequency: Rare

Derek Dooley

STR: 13 DEX: 12 INT: 16 WIS: 12 CON: 11 CHA: 16

Spells and Powers: Wall of Gloom, Zone of Despair

Although Dooley possesses high-level spells, he cannot cast them as a normal caster would. Instead, Dooley has a 1d20 (1-6) chance of randomly casting one of these spells per round with himself as the center of the spell. Dooley also has a 4% chance (1d100, 1-4) of self-destructing at the beginning of any round.

Frequency: Occasional

Peyton Manning

STR: 18/00 DEX: 18 INT: 18 WIS: 18 CON: 17 CHA: 18

Spells and Powers: [entire spell book]

Really, this is a manual outlining powers of various prominent SEC people, things, and other characters in a Tennessee publication. This was going to happen, and that's how it's going to be, and Charles Woodson is fatty fatty fat fat (thank you, ESPN).

Frequency: Unique

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The article quoted above is from our preseason Tennessee football magazine. If you're late to the party, it's 116 mostly ad-free pages of nothing but the stuff Vols football fans care about. It's not too late to get the Rocky Top Tennessee 2012 print edition ($19.99), the Kindle version ($9.99), or the ebook (a downloadable PDF) for $7.99. Enjoy!