SEC Power Rankings, Week 10: A NovemBERT to Remember

Methodology note: It's almost hiring season in the SEC, so here's a quick checklist about whether or not your head coach should be fired:

1. Did your team have a winning season? If yes, continue to question 3. If no, continue to question 2.
2. Is your team rebuilding, and did the team make progress? If yes, continue to question 4. If no, fire away!
3. Were you expecting to win a title, but your team is a disappointing mess and you'll probably only win 9 games, and who wants to go to another stupid bowl game anyway? If yes, continue to question 5. If no, continue to question 4.
4. Has your coach been at your school for fewer than three years, and have the win totals increased every year? If yes, continue to question 5. If no, fire away!
5. Was your team competitive in losses? If yes, continue to question 6. If no, fire away!
6. Did your team beat at least one of your traditional rivals, or a decent out-of-conference opponent? If yes, continue to question 7. If no, continue to question 8.
7. Are you a Georgia or LSU fan? If yes, fire away! I can't wait for Ron Prince, Georgia head coach. If no, continue to question 8.
8. Look, you can always think of a reason to fire a football coach, so go ahead, fire him! Just remember that there's only one Nick Saban, and Crimson Tide fans were ready to fire him after the Ole Miss game, so the grass isn't always greener.

Here's the link to Team Speed Kills, where the consensus rankings are available: SEC Power Rankings, Week 10.

SEC Power Rankings, Week 11: Please Let Me Into Your House So I Can Spread the Good News About BERT

CONSISTENCY IS A SMALL-MINDED HOBGOBLIN.


1. Alabama. Chris: Non-Alabama fans are reduced to rooting for Treon Harris in a couple weeks, which is a terrifying proposition. KidB: This team looks as good as it ever has in past years. Hunter is gonna be so mad when Derrick Henry wins the Heisman. Hunter: Hey, LF7 should be upset if he loses the Heisman to Derrick Henry, but he can enjoy the schadenfreude of the Browns drafting yet another stiff, overrated Alabama bust while he's playing in sunny Miami.



GO FOR TWO LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING, ORDER FAST FOOD LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, TALK TRASH LIKE NOBODY'S LISTENING, LIVE LIKE IT'S HEAVEN FOR BERT.


2. Florida. Chris: There are never any style points in November, which is why you can let South Carolina nearly complete a comeback and move up in the rankings. KidB: I hate Florida probably more than you've hated anything. Hunter: Coker! Harris! A primetime matchup of fine quarterbacking on CBS!
   
3. Arkansas. Chris: Arkansas. I'm stealing NovemBERT from Twitter, but I don't know how to separate the team getting better from everyone else getting worn down and the ol' big-hammer-to-the-face strategy being more effective as everyone gets more tired. Also: still lost to Texas Tech and Toledo.  KidB: You don't wanna play them right now any more than Jen Bielema wants another round of victory sex. Both end up with someone getting squashed under a sweaty fat man. Hunter: Dominating LSU in Death Valley makes this a NovemBERT to remember, so go ahead and distribute your finest homemade methamphetamine, Pig fans. This is as good as it gets.
   
4. Leonard Fournette and the Twenty-one Dwarves. Chris: Got rolled by Arkansas, but I'm kind of thinking it was a terrible matchup for LSU, especially on the heels of Alabama. LSU is at Ole Miss this week, which should help us figure out if getting their heads caved in by the SEC West is the new normal. Hunter: If Les Miles is on the hot seat, who isn't on the hot seat-- Tom Hermann? He's too young to merit a seat. Maybe he could have a Hot High Chair or something after Houston loses to Whoever They Play This Week. KidB: Nobody should be completely surprised this happened. Leonard Fournette is a running back, not a QB, so he can't dictate what happens on offense. And he CAN be shut down by a team that sticks to the program of shutting him down (and has the personnel to do it). So so BERT.
5. Tennessee. Chris: Awful nice to decide you have a bye week when the schedule says otherwise; even better when you're only playing North Texas. KidB: If we get extra points for Oklahoma, then it's only fair to subtract points for beating the worst team in the FBS by 24. I mean, we didn't even come close to covering the spread. Hunter: I thought I understood how S&P+ worked... and then the Vols went up in the rankings after an uninspiring shutout over the worst team in FBS. So maybe back to the drawing board with these advanced stats.
6. Ole Miss. Chris: Get LSU after the Tigers have gotten their heads caved in two weeks running; with Ole Miss coming off a bye, they should be in great shape to take this. Hunter: Sometimes this team looks incredible, other times they look like Houston Nutt is coaching them again. KidB: Wait, did Ole Miss play this weekend? [Checks Gameday Scoreboard] Okay, it appears they did not play this weekend. It's probably a good thing for them to get a little bit healthy for the home stretch against LSU and Clanga.
7. Mississippi State. Chris: Take LSU's schedule, set back one week. So, uh, good luck with BERT. KidB: The Cowbells were beat up pretty badly by the Juggernauts, but that's what juggernauts tend to do to mere mortals. Hunter: Dak: "Right now I feel like I could take on the whole Empire myself!"
   


HONK IF YOU'VE PLAYED QUARTERBACK FOR THE DAWGS, AGGIES, OR MALZAHNS.


8. Georgia. Chris: Needed a punt return TD to beat Auburn by a TD, so congrats, I suppose. Somehow is going to end up 9-3 in the regular season unless a terrible Georgia Tech team gets them at the end, which seems at odd with their power ranking. Hunter: The King of Winning When It Doesn't Matter. KidB: Richt owns Auburn. Other than that, I have absolutely no read on this team.
9. Texas A&M. Chris: Had their functional bye week yesterday; showed up. Get Vanderbilt next week, so have fun with that! KidB: Nice win over the Catamounts ::rollseyes::
10. Auburn. Hunter: So is Jeremy Johnson good after all? Huh. Chris: Auburn will end up going to a bowl, but I still totally understand if everyone on the Plains is looking to 2016. KidB: I also have no read on this team except that I know they aren't any good, but aren't completely gawd-awful either.



IF YOU CAN'T FLY, RUN. IF YOU CAN'T RUN, WALK. BUT IF YOU CAN'T RUN, YOU'RE PROBABLY VANDERBILT OR MIZZOU.


11. Vanderbilt. Chris: We're playing a game: Suddenly Competent or Outside Factors? Hint: if you're down this low, it's probably Outside Factors (which is to say, November Kentucky). Hunter: Forcing someone to watch the Vanderbilt-Kentucky game is a crime against humanity. KidB: Isn't it cute how the Fighting Derek Masons got a nice win over Kentucky.
12. South Carolina. Chris: Currently taking the title for Team You're Most Likely To Forget Is In The SEC. Hunter: Upset Clemson and all is forgiven... and you'll win the ACC. KidB: The Fighting Shawn Elliots are a much tougher out since the old ballcoach called it quits, but they're still not getting any wins.
    
13. Missouri. Chris: Probably chalking this one up to outside factors, although the offense suddenly got competent. Unsure how much of that was Missouri and how much of that was BYU not being a great team (go play Best Win with the Cougars and get back to me). Of course, this team is going to be Outside Factor Central the rest of the season. KidB: If they beat us I will burn everything orange that I own, and maybe some orange that you own too. Hunter: Don't tempt the Football Gods like that, Patrick.
14. Kentucky. Chris: The number one rule of the Power Poll: DON'T LOSE TO VANDERBILT. KidB: I was so so wrong about Kentucky this whole time. They are this bad.

Individual votes

Hunter: 1. Bama, 2. Florida, 3. Arkansas, 4. Tennessee, 5. LSU, 6. Ole Miss, 7. Mississippi State, 8. Georgia, 9. Texas A&M, 10. Auburn, 11. Vanderbilt, 12. Missouri, 13. South Carolina, 14. Kentucky

Chris Pendley: 1. Alabama, 2. Florida, 3. LSU, 4. Arkansas, 5. Mississippi State, 6. Tennessee, 7. Ole Miss, 8. Texas A&M, 9. Georgia, 10. Auburn, 11. Vanderbilt, 12. Missouri, 13. South Carolina, 14. Kentucky

Kid Bourbon: 1. Alabama, 2. BERT, 3. LSU, 4. Flori-duh, 5. Vols, 6. CLANGA, 7. Ole Drippy, 8. TAMU, 9. UGA, 10. Auburn, 11. Fighting Shawn Elliots, 12. SJWU, 13. Deep Water, 14. Kentucky