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Tennessee QB Brian Maurer details struggle with depression, anxiety

By Terry A. Lambert
TaxSlayer Gator Bowl - Indiana v Tennessee Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

Things aren’t always what they seem.

Following his freshman season at Tennessee, quarterback Brian Maurer revealed today on Instagram that he had plans to end his life back in January.

In honor of mental health month, Maurer decided to tell his story. He detailed his battle through depression and anxiety, dating all the way back to his childhood. Maurer said in the post that he planned to take his own life on January 22nd, until God stepped in.

View this post on Instagram

In honor of may being mental health month I’m encouraging everyone to seek help but also to speak up and to share their stories, here’s my story since the 7th grade i have struggled with anxiety and depression this battle has been long and hard it has been an everyday battle , In the 7th grade my father was sentenced to 25 years in prison, around the same time my mom and stepdad split up causing me to have to grow up early In the 9th grade me and my mom decided it would be best if i moved in with my grandmother while she moved for a little bit causing even more depression as i was no longer with my mom and my younger sister Junior year of highschool one of my best friends committed suicide and i had never felt so low in my entire life one as of the strongest people i have ever know lost his battle . Dewayne ALWAYS had a smile on his face and was always telling me i was gonna be something great. At this point i knew i was in trouble but i still refused hell from anyone Senior year of highschool I lost 2 friends to gun violence i slipped even deeper into a black hole and I turned to everything else but seeking help I was embarrassed to be like this , I always thought that as a guy i had to have tough skin and not to let anything bother me I thought i needed to stay strong for my family and that they couldn’t see me down and that I was their shoulder to cry on. I always thought i needed to be the shoulder for people to cry on when deep down i was screaming for help On Wednesday January 22 , 2020 i planned to take my own life , i though i lost my battle with depression and that my pain had come to an end as i was going to do it i looked up and i said “god if this isn’t your plan for me please send me a sign” 2 minutes later my mom called me with my baby nephew Jeremiah and she said she was just calling to say she loved me , i then knew that by ending my pain i would be causing so much more to the people who loved me. Please reach out to receive help, mental health is a very serious matter and there is hope for you ! I along with everyone around you stand with you, you have the strength to deal with this. Please keep fighting you got this . #longlivewayne

A post shared by Brian Maurer (@brianmaurer18) on

“On Wednesday January 22 , 2020 i planned to take my own life , i though i lost my battle with depression and that my pain had come to an end as i was going to do it i looked up and i said “god if this isn’t your plan for me please send me a sign”

2 minutes later my mom called me with my baby nephew Jeremiah and she said she was just calling to say she loved me , i then knew that by ending my pain i would be causing so much more to the people who loved me.”

Maurer ended his post with this message.

“Please reach out to receive help, mental health is a very serious matter and there is hope for you ! I along with everyone around you stand with you, you have the strength to deal with this. Please keep fighting you got this .”

Thankfully, Maurer is still here to tell his story. Hopefully he can use this situation to help others going through similar scenarios.

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